• Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 days ago

    Brother tried the same shit. He said wait a few months so he and I could figure out if I was really trans. He said we could talk to trans people and read up on things. I said we could do that but I’m still taking my HRT.

    Guess what, he never got back to me on that trans discovery tour he hyped up. It’s so obvious the bastard was gonna drag his feet while I would have been wasting time. I bet if the months passed and he failed to do anything he would have asked me to wait even longer.

  • hazel@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 days ago

    10 years is an enormous chunk of a human life. Maybe this is good advice if you’re 5 years old right now.

    If I’d started my transition 10 years earlier, I’d probably need much less therapy.

    • 𝕛𝕨𝕞-𝕕𝕖𝕧@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      i mean, i’m not trans so i don’t really have a very good personal opinion here…

      but it’s just as wrong to be implying to people flat-out “the sooner you start your transition the better,” too. not that that’s what you’re doing but i see that sort of rhetoric a lot online and it’s potentially damaging.

      people who genuinely aren’t transgender but are exploring their identity do genuinely exist too and deserve credence and respect as much as anyone else. i see a lot of “egg” discourse in trans spaces and while i can understand it thanks to the perspective of a lot of trans people in my life, from the outside-looking-in it gives the wrong impression as a community and does more harm than good in the long run.

    • LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 days ago

      Yep, pretty much. I know that I might have needed the time to figure it out, but man there were so many years of crippling depression, and now I’m so much happier that it would be so nice to replace those painful years with more of these happy ones. Then there is the fact that if I had started 10 years earlier I probably would be able to have a more passing one, might have had more hair and all that.

      At least I’m here now! 🤷‍♀️

  • adhocfungus@midwest.social
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    4 days ago

    Is he saying that because he’s embarrassed what other people will think or because he worries about your safety under the current Reich? Sucks either way, but at least one shows he cares, I guess.

    • Lena@gregtech.euOP
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      4 days ago

      He mostly says that I should wait a long time before starting transitioning to have time to think if I’m really trans

      • its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        It’s exactly what my mom said. Told me to keep quiet while we figure it out. Then went and talked to the entire family so they could come up with a strategy to get me to knock it off.

        • Lena@gregtech.euOP
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          4 days ago

          This was an interesting read.

          The problem is that I’m worried about him being right. What if I’m not really trans and am faking this because of the trans media I consume, or for attention?

          • _‌_反いじめ戦隊@ani.social
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            4 days ago

            It’s the other way around: Why do you consume trans media? Why does it interest you? Why do you believe for yourself that you are trans?

            Those are questions only you can answer, and he has to respect you for who you are, and for the healthcare you need.

            He is not asking for your health to “do anything,” but for his reservations. It is a medical need to acquire gender affirming care, not an option. You don’t wait to correct eyes when vision isn’t 20/20, you care for eyes everyday since you use them every day. Your body, and affirming your gender expression is something you use and need everyday. There is no doubt when your mind tells you to express and live a way that doesn’t conform to your needs.

          • DarkAri@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            3 days ago

            The trades off are pretty simple.

            On the negative you have to buy medicine which costs money. If you are male transitioning to female, you also have to do extra stuff like shave alot, although the hormones slow down hair growth.

            Another negative is that your penis will not work nearly as well as it did.

            Some more, discrimination, which is a bitch, and you become less able to defend yourself.

            Become sterile under full doses of t blockers.

            Some pros,

            Happiness if that’s what you want to do with your life.

            Improved mental health under estrogen. Slightly improved physical health. Less anxiety, less extreme emotions. Estrogen was really good for my brain for some reason. Probably my favorite part tbh. The mental changes.

            More attractive in general. For the other way, FtM, you will also probably also find yourself more attractive.

            Stops balding. Lowers metabolism, probably adds a bit to your lifespan.

            Not having to pretend to be a gender you aren’t. It’s a very cool thing to feel normal for once. In other words. It basically cures gender disphoria.

            Some neutral things.

            Lose a lot of friends but also become cooler to many others.

            So basically what I would suggest, is, do you think it will make you happier, despite the additional challenges in life, like fitting in, finding work, having to pay for medicine? If so, I think it’s very worth it. It made me way more happier then I thought it would. I have no regrets.

            Also if you have bad gender disphoria, then also it might be a better life. I didn’t realize how shitty I felt trying to be a guy until I finally stopped doing it.

            Anyways don’t let other people control your life take control of your own life. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be happy and to pursue your own happiness. If you can’t do it yet then experiment with it. You don’t have to have hrt to transition. I started to do it 3 years before I even started any medical stuff. Thought about it for many years before that.

            Anyways good luck, and we are all going to die eventually anyways. All of us. Don’t waste your life and don’t fear death, fear being unhappy and wasting your life. People have their bodily and you have yours. Do what you want with it.

          • Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone
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            3 days ago

            I had thoughts of ‘what if I’m not really trans?’ while I was walking into the OR for top surgery, after being on HRT for something like a decade. My overwhelming feeling was excitement, but the doubt didn’t go away because that’s just the way I am. My ultimate conclusion was it doesn’t matter if I’m ‘really’ trans, if HRT and top surgery help me then that should be all the justification I need to get them. Same for anyone else.

          • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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            2 days ago

            I don’t think you’re faking, but even if you were “doing it for the attention”, what’s so bad about that? We modulate our behavior in countless other ways based on feedback we get from others, and the only problem is when you feel forced to do something that goes against your principals, right?

              • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
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                2 days ago

                Would it be tho? Transitioning is a pretty slow process, you do it socially and hormonally first before you can even talk the docs into surgery, and those are both undoable if it doesn’t spark joy.

          • fleurc@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            3 days ago

            Ok. First and foremost, experiment with your gender, get people around you to refer to you by the pronouns you think you want, verify if you would feel comfortable with a different body (if you’re mtf then get silicone fake boobs, try bra, try panties and so on). You cannot be faking, nobody who is faking has that question. But you can be unsure, you can understand yourself differently and so on. Also, if you’re being influenced by trans media you consume, what in that media is attracting you to it?

            As for the: I’m doing it for attention thing. You’re not doing it for attention, nobody wants the attention of being a minority who could get killed in the streets for just existing. So yeah, don’t buy into transmed bullshit, and just experiment for yourself. If you’re happy being trans, good, if you aren’t then you aren’t and that’s also good.

          • papertowels@mander.xyz
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            3 days ago

            Not a doctor, but depending on your age, I believe puberty blockers have relatively minimal side effects and just “pause” things for prepubescent folks to figure stuff out.

      • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Does he think you talked to him on day one of these thoughts? Pretty sure you have a lot if not all of those ten years already logged

    • RandomVideos@programming.dev
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      4 days ago

      Thats what i was told when i came out and i dont live in the USA

      Also, if the problem was safety from the US president, wouldnt the time to wait be 4 years?

  • _‌_反いじめ戦隊@ani.social
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    4 days ago

    I misread the 3rd panel completely, as in, wait for the fascists to die before you embark on anything public. And not as in “don’t gender affirm healthcare yourself.”💀