Lemdro.id
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
mech@feddit.org to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 10 天前

Anon starts his day

feddit.org

message-square
39
link
fedilink
129

Anon starts his day

feddit.org

mech@feddit.org to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 10 天前
message-square
39
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • bassad@jlai.lu
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    ·
    10 天前

    Seems like a trubute to the “morning routine” from american psycho

  • slothrop@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    10 天前

    Vanity is dehumanizing.

  • hedge_lord@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    edit-2
    10 天前

    Meanwhile:

    >wake up
    >shoot myself full of estrogen
    >tea
    >shower
    >brush my teeth
    >go get pizza (yum) 
    

    Simple as

    • birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      9 天前

      instruction unclear, only got estrogen and coffee. what do?

      • Flax@feddit.uk
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        9 天前

        Instructions unclear, only carried out the first four words

      • Fullonturkeydog@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        9 天前

        Your pizza is in the mail just wait calmly and purr a little while you’re waiting

  • rtxn@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    10 天前

    It’ll be such a massive and catastrophic crash when the body can no longer handle the stress.

  • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    10 天前

    He’s taking selenium!? Is he trying to kill himself?

    • kungen@feddit.nu
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      9 天前

      Selenium toxicity can give symptoms like hair loss and fatigue. But he’s taking finasterid and minoxidil, as well as a large dose of caffeine, so the problem is solved!

    • duckythescientist@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      10 天前

      It’s a necessary micronutrient

      • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        10 天前

        And his hair is shiny and dandruff free!

        • Denjin@feddit.uk
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          9 天前

          A photo of the cast of the film Evolution holding up bottles of Head and Shoulders

          • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            9 天前

            I vaguely remember the final 15 minutes that movie, it was about some tentacle anus alien and selenium was its poison, right?

            • Denjin@feddit.uk
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              9 天前

              Correct

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    10 天前

    I’ve seen worse.

    • mech@feddit.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      10 天前

      me too

      • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        10 天前

        It starts with questionable stuff, and ends on fucking Ketamine. Bravo. Yep, that is a perfectly healthy routine.

        Also, pro tip, don’t mess with your hormones (like testosterone) just to get more gains. There are many “body-builders” who have fried their hormone system and have to rely on permanent medication to function.

      • deathbird@mander.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        9 天前

        It’s a little cliche, but just try loving yourself, you know?

        • mech@feddit.orgOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          9 天前

          I do that every night.

          • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            9 天前

            Your hands don’t lie 😏

      • kungen@feddit.nu
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        9 天前

        Dysin? Did he mean Desoxyn (methamphetamine), or is the guy popping vacuum cleaners?

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        9 天前

        anon ain’t doing enough to stand out in the dating market

  • kat_angstrom@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    10 天前

    But like, why?

  • ikt@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    edit-2
    10 天前

    creatine you only take 4 x 5g when in your loading phase which lasts a week, then it’s 3g for maint or just 3g a day for maint which will get you to saturation anyway but takes about 3-4 weeks

    https://creatine.wiki/w/Creatine_Usage/Creatine_for_Beginners#content-recommended-dosage

    fish oil good for you

    the others I’m not gonna touch

    • krashmo@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      10 天前

      Quit using drugs to min/max. Life isn’t a video game. Just go to the gym or do stuff outside. The rest is just capitalism doing what it does, trying to sell you shit you don’t need.

      • ikt@aussie.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        10 天前

        Quit using drugs to min/max

        Why?

        trying to sell you shit you don’t need

        It’s science bro, if it helps improve your life why wouldn’t you do it?

        • krashmo@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          9 天前

          It doesn’t improve your daily life any more than regular exercise does

          • ikt@aussie.zone
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            9 天前

            i do that too :)

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        10 天前

        Reminds me of the monster gym bros that Anatoly casually matches. Thought it was fake at first! Nope, he’s a legit powerlifter under that janitor’s uniform.

    • damo_omad@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      10 天前

      Loading phase is also a myth. Just take your recommended dose every day

  • steeznson@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    10 天前

    How about simply waking up and cursing whatever entity or cosmological force made this hell world?

  • Gnugit@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    10 天前

    4 eggs!? Fuck that, i can barely handle two in a day without becoming a stinking gas leak.

    • BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      9 天前

      Reminds me of that greentext of the guy who was eating exclusively egg whites and nothing else

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    edit-2
    9 天前

    I mean, those ingredients to that meal he has, that sounds good, maybe once or twice a month, if you throw in some kind of fairly large helping of fibrous greens to go along with it, maybe drop half the eggs…

    But yeah the rest of this is insane, dude’s gonna end up roiding out within a year or two, balls will shrivel, then onto some kind of harder drugs or serious hallucinogens, which will likely reveal to him that he just is a howling void of insecurity, probably won’t end well.

  • Pat@feddit.nu
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    8 天前

    Meanwhile, my Grandma’s been smoking cigs for a damn long time, and she’s kicking around, around 80 y/o. You don’t need to go this hard.

    • mech@feddit.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      8 天前

      I’d bet smoking is healthier than that pill stack.

  • Crashumbc@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    9 天前

    Since when has sleeping counted as fasting?

    • mech@feddit.orgOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      9 天前

      Why do you think it’s called breakfast?

    • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      9 天前

      since they decided to call it breakfast, i guess

Greentext@sh.itjust.works

greentext@sh.itjust.works

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !greentext@sh.itjust.works

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you’re new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

  • Anon is often crazy.
  • Anon is often depressed.
  • Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 1.06K users / day
  • 2.53K users / week
  • 4.69K users / month
  • 14.5K users / 6 months
  • 12 local subscribers
  • 7.36K subscribers
  • 1.66K Posts
  • 77K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • 🍹Early to RISA 🧉@sh.itjust.works
  • UI: 0.19.11
  • BE: 0.19.12
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org