(Screen peaking? ❌️ Screen cheeking? ✅️)
I wouldn’t be losing if you didn’t keep blocking the screen with that juicy ass.
Sure but then again I wouldn’t be winning if I stopped blocking the screen with my juicy ass.
Of course I’m losing. Your gorgeous ass is blocking the TV
Its a flawless strategy, if I do say so myself. At least, I haven’t heard many complaints yet…
It is a good plan, but I could think of a couple ways to distract you 😏
Nothing could dissuade me from hearing your oddly muffled cries of defeat.
The muffled moaning of my face pressed between your cheeks, lapping at your pussy, you mean.
Moans of lamentation and woe, I’m certain…
The taste of your juices covers up the taste of defeat nicely though
deleted by creator
Blue shell life / blue shell wife… or something. There’s probably a joke in here about bullet bill too, but I’m so busy winning at mariokart I can’t spare the time to think it up.
(I only deleted it after seeing you’d used the same metaphor, but for blue balls —which is the opposite of what my Luigi wants.)
I figured lol. Blue your load too early, I guess. But never be ashamed of a good joke, great minds think alike, you never know unless you try, other vague platitudes that are a clever way to distract from the starman I’ve carried up four places get wreeeeecked
This Luigi’s wily, and knows alternate routes to keep your knuckles white, pulse pounding, breath hot in your mouth. Watch me while I focus on chasing that Peach, eating up track until she let’s go of the wheel.
I’ll sacrifice it if it means I get to dive face first between those cheeks
Careful diving in there; if you miss, a lickitus shows up and drops you back where you were.
(god that pun is a stretch)
Is it because you’re standing in front of me causing a distraction? Play fair.
My way is probably more fun, but if you insist…
That remains to be seen. Mario has a way of pulling out a banana at the right point in time to change up the game 🍌
This is very definitely the right time to make the race more slippery 😈 but to a gentleman winning the game means not finishing first 😇
Careful though, would hate for you to be coming in first only to be left with blue shells when I overtake you…
I always have a banana at the ready 😅
deleted by creator
Man, I never thought the consolation prize would be so popular…
deleted by creator
Well okay, maybe I could have seen this coming. Somehow.
deleted by creator
well a win /
lose(secret win) might be more accurate but I can see where you’re coming from.Much as you can probably see where I’m comi-- …yeah you get the idea ❤️
deleted by creator
Ok, I mean… I think we’re on Choco Mountain now, but I can’t … really tell.
Howabout this:
If I somehow win, I flip you around, and then we cruise down Jungle Parkway?
deleted by creator
Big shrug, I’m sorry to say. You can disable NSFW posts in your settings, for what it’s worth!
I’ll make up time after I finish you off
Given the average MarioKart 8 race takes two minutes, you say you can get me off and make it back to first? Pretty bold claim… 😉
It won’t be easy but I’m willing to dig in and do the hard work, if you’re willing to provide your ass istance.
And yet it’s your ass rumbling and shaking as if it’s had a collision 🤔
Hey it seemed like a good idea at the time, and it’s not like it could make the joycon drift any worse. Those straps don’t really replace a flared base though, do they…
Like a blue shell, guess i’ll be cumming from behind
I can just barely see, I might have to get a bit closer, and you have to stop jumping and swaying with each curve.
Hey, moving target just adds to the challenge. Where’s the fun if everything’s easy? 😜
Think we could still place using motion controls while I slide into that gap and grind?
Oh now that would be an interesting challenge… the noise filtering on the joycons is pretty good, but I don’t know if they’re that good…
I like my women like I like my waggle controls: …wait, stand up? Tilt it to the left? Blow on it? Get a little closer? Smaller motions? Light some candles? sigh ill get fresh batteries.
pfff you don’t know me
![POV: You're about to lose your third consecutive game of Mario Kart [F][OC]](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/b35b39e3-7a31-4655-9faa-29ce1125952d.jpeg){kind=link}