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Compare XKCD.
I would have loved this in school.
I LOVE the “you are here”
Everything that isn’t green should be ‘definitely not’ and several green ones are questionable
The particular form the element is in also matters a lot.
Take helium, for example. Is it really possible to ‘lick’ a gas? I’d say it’s not. You could lick liquid helium, though … and you really shouldn’t, unless you enjoy severe frostbite on your tongue.
What? No. The Leidenfrost effect would apply. You could pour a few milliliters of liquid helium over your tongue and it would boil on contact. You just need to make sure to minimize total contact time.
if i stick my tongue out i would probably consider that as licking air, so you would just have to be submerged in that gas for a long enough time to lick it
You can totally lick Sodium! Its natures poprocks!
In theory, if you dry enough your tongue, you can lick sodium, i wouldn’t keep it on my tongue longer tha 0.5s tho
well, i wouldn’t keep it on my tongue at all tbf
Ok who gave the goat internet access?
I ate a banana and now I have summer teeth
It’s 100% accurate. But just in case, could you have the map on you when you go around licking things? The resultant news article will be way funnier that way.
Sure! I’ll keep that in mind for my next lickpacking tour across Europe.
Because everything exists in Europe :-D
not everything. Just Licktenstein.
Well done!
Gonna have to vet the Blarney Stone before I lick it. Could be made out of anything.
Some of the purple ones have a time limit to lick them before you die that starts once you enter the room they are kept. You’ll still die after licking them, but you would at least have licked it if you’re quick.
So those are “yes, but hurry”?
jots down in notebook
Many can’t be “kept” on the time scale of licking. And for some, the confirmed number of atoms ever existing is too low for any sensation or measurable radiation exposure during their violent but tiny decay. And if the particle accelerator beam, the only place they ever existed, crossed your head… we unfortunately know what happens https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatoli_Bugorski#Accident
Na: bad. Cl: bad. NaCl: amazing!
Pshh. You can lick any of them once.
You really shouldn’t, though.
I can be, though, if you ask nicely…
Oganesson has a half-life of about 0.7 ms and is excruciatingly difficult to synthesize in a way that even lasts on the order of milliseconds. The beam it’s created in is sent to a semiconductor detector. You’d be stretching the definition of “lick” very heavily if you could even convolute a way to make it land on the human tongue.
Easy, just send the beam to their tongue instead of the duperwhatsit detector. Bam. Licked.
Bam. Licked.
My dog running straight at me after a solid 15 at the butthole buffet.
You can lick everything, but some only one time
Can I lick it? (Yes, you can)
It’s about whether you die before you can reach it
You can lick radium for years!
If you can get your tongue inside the machinery they use at Lawrence Livermore to create a split-second instance of some rare Earth actinide, you deserve to lick it.
It’s really funny, yesterday I saw a dude walk around with a T-shirt with exactly this periodic table and thought it was hilarious and now I find this
Did you lick him?
Licking calcium is fine?
I guess if you’re okay with the nasty burn…
Won’t kill you is this tables version of fine.
In that case, sodium and potassium should be fine too
The same people think sulfur is “probably okay”
Pure sulfur is unreactive with water, so I can’t imagine it doing meaningful harm with just one lick.
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… How exactly would you lick hydrogen? Or helium for yhsy matter…
- Fill a balloon with the gas
- Stick your tongue in the balloon sphincter
- Wiggle your tongue
- Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point
New fetish unlocked, but still hidden behind balloon sphincter.
Tounguepunching the gas sphincter, oh joy
Just go slow and keep it wet. It might take some time to build up your tongue strength and loosen up the opening, but I believe in you. Go forth and achieve your dreams.
Thanks for believing in me :D
- Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point
OR
New kink unlocked
If that moment of introspection concludes with you being happy with your path and current situation, then who am I to judge. Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.
Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.
That’s gotta be a sentence no one has ever said before.
And, dare we hope, never again
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Can you lick a gas? I would think it would need to be at least liquid, and once some of these are in a lickable state you probably wouldn’t want to go ahead and do it.
I’ve just licked some hydrogen
You dirty gasophile
I have nipples, Greg. Can you lick me?
Can I? Yes. Will I?.. How much you got?
Two nipples
The periodic table is surprisingly lickable.
Coming from someone identifying as salt, that’s high praise! 😁
If lead is “maybe not a good idea”, the rest of these must be really bad ideas. I like that there’s still 2 more levels above lead. I assume the second level just explodes or vaporises you instantly or something.
Come on, it can’t be that bad if we build water pipes with it
;^)
Licking lead once is completely fine, just don’t make a habit of it
Some of these would explode on contact with your tongue, yes.
And from what I can see, many of them are only rated “you really shouldn’t”. Which leads me to consider what the next step up in severity could possibly be.
Your own flesh burns yourself to death.
Admittedly unpleasant.
Solid lead isn’t really that dangerous. Like with a lot of other toxins, it’s mostly only dangerous when ingested or inhaled. Licking a block or sheet of lead would cause a negligible amount of lead consumption.
While I’m not saying it was a great idea or anything, they used to make children’s toys out of cast lead, and as long as little Timmy didn’t bite his toy soldier’s head off and swallow it they’re perfectly safe, even if he was sucking on it sometimes. Hell, even if he did swallow it, he’d probably pass it with no issues.
Lead is dangerous when aerosolized, like with leaded gasoline, or in powder form, like with lead paint chips, because in these forms it is more easily absorbed by the body. Depending on the location, people can have lead bullets literally inside their bodies for decades without ever suffering from heavy metal poisoning (and when heavy metal poisoning does occur, it can take years to accumulate to dangerous levels).
Same goes for lots of other stuff - plaster, fiberglass, asbestos.
