this may be early, don’t worry about it, pin it whenever
First mega wooo, now I get to have my inbox flooded!
Friendship ended with coffee, now tea is my best friend. No promises but I’ll try to post about a different tea each day!
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spoiler
HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST
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every cishet man should be have a bomb implanted in their skull that any woman can detonate for any reason
How the hell do people pick names? I went to a local thing for shy queer people and felt like I was gonna collapse when we went around and the only name I had to give them was my given name. I need to turn it into a deadname.
I’ve been wanting to defer coming out and transitioning until I move out of my parents place, but after a talk with some people in the traachaa, coming out and starting ASAP might be the only viable option. I’m starting to get more and more upset at them for (from their perspective, lacking the context I’m hiding from them) no reason.
I know I don’t need to justify myself to them, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it if I’m still calling myself my (hopefully soon to be) deadname.
Edit: Thank you everyone.
been there comrade. at my first local trans meetup, i dressed masc and introduced myself with my deadname. i wanted to die, it was really hard to show up so inauthentically to a crowd of authentic people
my strategy was a list, made a list and wrote a bit about why i did or didn’t feel attracted to certain names. idk if you’re american but i also used the social security baby names list from the year i was born to check vibes https://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/
It helped me a lot when a friend told me that i do not have to stick to the first name i choose and that it’s ok to try things out. I also see in my friend group that a lot of people have several names and use one mostly around their family and for other “public” stuff and then have a “friend name” that we use amongst each other, and usually both of these are official names that are on our legal documents and all.
It’s not only ok to experiment, it’s a necessary part of transitioning.
Yeah I’m accumulating names like a katamari ball.
this is real, my name evolved quite a a bit! those earlier names felt right during the times i used them and now i feel really at home with my current name but it took some time to get there.
still use an older (more masc) legal name with acquaintances and family (this is i think in part because i look more androgynous / fem and making them use an unabashedly masc name is a bit like keeping them in check lol) and my more me name with everyone i’m closer to :3
It’s still daunting knowing it doesn’t have to be permanent and that I can have as many as I want. But it also still helps to be reminded. Thank you.
I went through multiple names before I chose mine. I started with a unisex name when I was an insecure baby trans, but the name didn’t really fit me or my personality. Went through a couple names that were feminine and less commonly used for like a month until I finally settled on my name after looking at a list of top baby names for my birth year and picked the one that stuck out most. I thought I picked it from just vibes, but it came to me some time after that there were similarities to my deadname; same number of syllables, same ending sound, a near-rhyme middle sound. I gave myself a new last name and together with my first I went from x letters in first (nick)name, y letters in last name to y letters in first name, x letters in last name. My brain was cooking without my own awareness. It was def from the experimentation process and giving myself the time to churn through the possibilities.
I thought I picked it from just vibes, but it came to me some time after that there were similarities to my deadname; same number of syllables, same ending sound, a near-rhyme middle sound.
One of the names I’m floating around in my head is like this.
Sounds like a sign to try it out and see if you like it!
Took me literally years and multiple names.
convoluted name finding method:
What ended up working for me was to find a concept that you feel connection with, and take the root word for that. It can be in your mother tongue, a language thats culturally meaningful to you, whatever. But take the root word. Then take sounds that you like. Doesnt have to have meaning. Just short sounds (“ah”, “lo”, like genuinely the smallest sounds of language). And modulate and change the root using them.
Start with affixes, either putting letters on the ends. Or putting them in the middle. that long vowel? Turn it into a diftong. Whatever feels good in your mouth. Modify the word, change its vowels and consonants out. Make it yours. To my eyes, you dont want the root word to be recognizable any more. It is important, but people change over time. Make it meaningful to you, but not something that is clearly the root word. For example if you love the night, go Night->nait(simplify spelling)->nait-e->naie(/naie:/ or /na‿ie:/ (sorry I’m bad at typing IPA)). Naie! Bad example cause its not meaningful to me, but its kinda how it goes.
Then you can start worrying about spelling and whether or not people will know how to pronounce your name.
But yeah it took me years, I went thru like 4 names (and many many more online) before I found my name. And it is mine. It is mine and only mine. I love it and it is a symbol of me and that symbol is accurate and clear and correct and beautiful.
I picked a name that I could fit letters from my deadname into, because I wanted to memorialize that part of my life while still leaving it behind. That’s not for everyone, some people want to just leave that shit behind and forget about it, but I like it.
Probably helps that I had long since shorted my deadname to be something gender neutral when I was still eggy and had no idea why I was doing that.
Mine is just a long standing favorite. A name I had stuck in my head for years and years. We’ll see where it goes. I have a nickname I like too. Might look to explore more names too, I do still need a middle name.
I thought for a bit about a name that would be meaningful to me, and pretty quickly landed on a certain very girly anime that I fell in love with when I was an egg and deeply suppressing everything. I thought it would be weird and probably cringe for me to have a Japanese name but there was one character in the show… So I tried the name out and loved it and ever since.
i went with a femme leaning gender neutral name that shares the first few letters of my government name
means i can keep the shortening that i like
I really liked my new name, I looked through a bunch and their meanings and I picked the one I resonated with most! After I picked it, years after, my mom said it was the name she wouldve given me if Id been AFAB so that was nice kismet
My name I’m trying out is exceedingly common for my demographic and has a hilarious meaning given the kind of person I am
6 years today
I am dumping this account its weird carrying the name of a fash man
my minis arrived!
Every trans girl either be fretting over the formation of her armies so much they miss the opportune time to strike, or setting out on campaign without enough food stores before the last frost even hits
-GaySunTzu
society if every trans woman was given a 12 gauge and the explicit legal right to kill whoever they wanted
My fantasy 🥰 it’s so true too.
i thought you’d appreciate the alt history, what a dream :)
I’ll have you know that this is violence and so much worse than any transphobia!any cissie when i joke about such things smdh
I have been replaying Fallout New Vegas and I did the mission where you activate the solar plant. Normally it’s kind of a moral choice where to send the power. But my character is canonically a trans woman. So it became unambiguously clear that giving a trans women a gun that obliterates her enemies with the power of the sun, outweighs all other moral options.
(Also she uses Dinner Bell the 12 gauge her girlfriend gave her)
(Also she uses Dinner Bell the 12 gauge her girlfriend gave her)
totally stealing this for my next TTRPG campaign
I finally realized I’m non-binary
spoiler
Recently everything in my head all kind of clicked and I was finally able to say it out loud to myself. Turns out when you stop ignoring all the things your brain has been screaming at you it becomes clear pretty quick. I told my lovely supportive partner and it went really well (they’re also non-binary and it was no surprise to them). There’s no one else in my life I’m dying to tell, but I thought I’d say thanks to all the nice queer people in my phone for their inadvertent help and support
happy for you 💛🤍💜🖤
Tyvm!
congrats!!!
Thank you!
Officially 2 weeks sober today.
Just landed a job after a few months of unemployment
i love tea. well except rooibos, but otherwise i love em. currently i have some vanilla black tea and cinnamon black tea, i had a bag of berry black tea but i drank it all. I also have some hibiscus, but i need to restock soon.
the store that i order from is doing a summer vacation
i really like them though, they always send a nice postcard with the tea and it makes me feel nice 
I love my hibiscus tea! Mine has orange peel and mint, perfect for winding down after work.
i had a friend bring back some rooibos from south africa, and i had to smile and pretend i liked it. though that was like 15 years ago, maybe my tastebuds have changed
what is it about rooibos you don’t like? i haven’t had it in ages and my taste has evolved since then? that’s so cute, i love that! having a special store is great, they seem really nice
i didn’t like the taste, maybe it was the type of rooibos that i had? it was like some “christmas spices” version.
that’s so cute, i love that! having a special store is great, they seem really nice
yea it’s always a beautiful nature shot and they wish me a nice time of the year, i have a few of them on my fridge cuz they look pretty
oh yeah i’ve had some awful “holiday spice” tea recently. Makes sense. The postcards sound lovely!
Roubois makes a great iced tea with some freshly squeezed orange juice if you ever want to give it another try.
yea but is it really tea if you put in orange juice, i ask you this?
thanks for the recommendation, i could give it another shot
cw death of a friend
when I was 15 I met this kid and we became instant best friends. I asked him if I could be his best man at his wedding and wear a suit. 10-15 years ago we had a falling out. There’s a good reason why I hadnt tried to reconcile yet. This was also before I came out as trans. He never got to know my real name, or what happened to me while we werent talking. I never got to tell him off / or be relieved that we fixed things. I’m so pissed off that he’s gone. 😢
I’m not going to spoiler tag this because everyone needs to read it
I can’t stop thinking about girlmoding the other day. I looked so much better then I thought I would.
Thinking I might send the pics to more of my cis friends then I planned on originally.
I do wish I knew if I’d need ffs to pass.
surgery
I know I want a trach shave which I guess is ffs, but I don’t know what else I’d need. But trach shave + srs + laser is already a decent amount of work to need…
Also voice training god I’ve got to get on that. Although I was pretty impressed by how androgynous my voice is… I still think it’s too masc leaning to call androgynous but much better then I thought.
What I’ve been told is you basically go get a consult for ffs and they give you a list of everything they think you might want and pick and choose from that.
Your voice is definitely androgynous imo.
Doesn’t a consult take like forever? I guess if my insurance is okay I might do that and just see what they think and how much things would be with my insurance
Yea well I don’t totally agree and would 100% get misgendered on the phone or anything
My consult was pretty fast. I got a letter from my therapist, submitted to my provider, they submitted the request to my insurance, I had a number to the surgeon’s office a couple weeks. The appointment was about 3 or 4 weeks out when I scheduled it. That was more of a general “this is what ffs is, these are the risks, etc”. Then I had to get a face scan, then I had to set up another appointment and that’s when they discussed a plan and what they wanted to do for ffs with my specific bone structure and like what they wanted to do with my hairline and so on. Then we set a surgery date which was a few months out. From getting my insurance approval to actual surgery it was like maybe around 12-ish months? This is standard in my area judging by the trans girls I’ve talked to, hopefully it’ll be the same for where you’re going.
Oh wow, that’s no so bad. 1 year from start to finish is very doable. Very exciting thank you.
It depends on the surgeon I’d guess. Not sure how long out they’re booking, I know people who got in for consults reasonably quickly. Once you’re in [blue state] I’d hope insurance would cover it depending on what you have. Though if you’re on your parents insurance it might be harder to hide this from them. Plus at that point you’d need to be out to your doctor and probably have a gender dysphoria diagnosis to get this stuff covered.
hell yeah sister
