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A friend would understand. There is always tomorrow/next week. You should be celebrating your friends every day, not just their birthday.
The date doesn’t matter, the person does.
“nobody wants to work anymore” energy.
But I am le tired.
Well then have a nap
THEN FIRE Z MISSILES!!
cigarette first
If I’m invited I’m 100% going, I just don’t get invited
I liked having friends when I was a kid. Being friends with adults is complicated and exhausting.
I gave up.
We all have to thread the needle between showing up and maintaining our relationships and caring for ourself and not overdoing it.
That balance is unique to each of us. Do your best.
If I push through it and ignore my needs, I will have a meltdown and that’s no fun for anybody. That being said, my friends are a priority and I’ll always be there for them as long as I’m physically able.
I am friends with people I do things with.
By never doing things I avoid having friends.
It’s really quite nice.
I know some people like that, and it’s exhausting. They want support and want to vent, but when it’s time to do the reverse they will have an excuse. Then they wonder why they rotate through friends quickly.
This is when comes the part everybody likes talking about but nobody likes doing, you gotta set boundaries. I had a ton of friends like that who would vent to me and then never do the inverse, so one time I just straight up told a friend who did this to me to not talk about her problems with me if she didn’t want to solve them. Saying I was sick of hearing her complain to me and if she did, then I’d turn my brain off and become a wall.
You gotta do that. Friendships can be difficult like any relationship and these are going to be needed. You can’t have a relationship with no boundaries. I’ve tried. They don’t work ever. So long as your friends are willing to respect them or at least try to, you might have something good. Have these difficult and awkward talks with your friends. It’ll honestly make your friendships stronger and better.
You’re not wrong, necessarily, but how did it work out for that relationship afterward? Did she become a better friend? Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the effort. It doesn’t feel like a lot but many of us are problematically conflict-averse so it is a lot of effort in that way. If the “friend” in question isn’t presenting much value to me as a friend, I’m probably not going to invest a lot of effort into improving the relationship, especially if I have other, better options. Maybe that’s mean in its own way but then again, it’s just a different kind of setting boundaries, I suppose.
Yeah, it worked out good. I’m not gonna say it easn’t a rocky road to get there. It did take a lot of awkward conversations, but I feel we’re better off now.
This is why I avoid friendships with most people, they seemingly come with such long list of expectations that are completely unmanageable for me.
You have to nurture friendships with care. That looks different for everyone. But if you don’t ever show up, don’t reciprocate energy etc…the other person is going to feel that. It is a hurtful and draining experience for the other person over the long term. I’ve heard the term “energy vampire” which is one way these kinds of paradigms end up. I’ll always pivot for a friend because Ive made that kind of relationship a priority.
I don’t think the reasons why matter all that much. If someone’s not coming to the shared experiences (a party, a get together, a nice chat, whatever) then they’re not paying into the relationship.
Ah. I see. How much money do you want for me to skip the birthday party?
i do, i like being a friend most the time. I get excited when my friends talk to me or invite me out. And if they need to talk, I will always lend an ear.
Whether or not I’m a good friend also depends on the friend’s needs. If their needs are like mine, then they’ll probably be content with what I’m ready to offer. If not, that’s okay. Can’t be everyone’s friend anyway.
Because classmate is not a friend?
For sure not with that outlook lmao
