seeing my mom’s used maxi pads in the trash and calling 911

three branches of US government

Lobbyists: write the bills

Staffers: read the bills

Elected officials: come up with zinger titles

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now they just make up shit about us to get mad in their defederated instances

Commendatore ButtBidet, how do I pass a job interview?

the 196 people would love this while not understanding the actual joke

I believe your data has not accounted for the discrepancy between the domesticated Doordash yankee (which is limited in it’s foraging capacity), and the free grazing wild yankee who’s habitat permits access to free refills

innovation is stored in the balls

go full momo

started an arduously long civil war and turned Germany into a failed state

ADL: “He’s just stretching, okay?”

banana gate is much less funnier than it sounds. It’s just a weird banana shaped blur.

I thought it would be related to how their software will accidentally add fake enhancements to moon-like objects, except it now makes every banana look like SpongeBob hentai.

don’t forget to try the chili

.world is like the “reddit default subs” of lemmy. The #1 suggestion for new reddit users had always been to unsubscribe from the defaults in order to improve their experience, so being defederated from world isn’t much of a loss.

A part of me kind of wishes we were still federated with some of the radlib instances so we could have more active reading groups and movie nights.

I’m still calling it the Swiitch

oh yeah you like being cud don’t you, you dirty little weed

allegedly production is being affected by the “totally nothing to worry about” bird flu

fakenews is still funny, don’t talk about lions, the great dunk bifurcation