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cm0002@mander.xyz to Memes@sopuli.xyz · 1 month ago

Apple that makes eunuchs

lemmy.ml

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Apple that makes eunuchs

lemmy.ml

cm0002@mander.xyz to Memes@sopuli.xyz · 1 month ago
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  • cross-posted to:
  • memes@lemmy.ml
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  • AeronMelon@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    [several transfems are typing…]

    • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 month ago

      Mm…mmmrrroow 🥺

  • macniel@feddit.org
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    1 month ago

    Omg that’s horrible…

    Where can one find one?

  • Beth@piefed.social
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    1 month ago

    Can it do tops too?

    • moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 month ago

      Does it do weddings as well?

  • Courtney (she/her/they) @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 month ago

    Damn, I just want my balls off. I wanna keep my dick.

    What if I just have a nibble?

    • tetris11@feddit.uk
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      1 month ago

      I remember Snow White a little differently from this

      • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 month ago

        You know all those stories were sanitized.

    • expr@piefed.social
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      1 month ago

      I’ve never heard someone say that before. Why would you want one but not the other, if you don’t mind my asking?

      • Ginny [they/she]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 month ago

        Hello! I’m not the person you asked but I figured I’d throw in my experience.

        In my case, if I could snap my fingers and instantly change my penis to a vulva, I would. But I had a haemorroid surgery many years ago, and the month or so afterwards was one of the worst times of my life, so I would prefer it if no surgeon ever went anywhere near my lower trunk ever again.

        But everyone’s experience is different. Some women just like to fuck, and of the trans women who do, some don’t feel the need to replace the factory installed equipment for doing so.

      • Bluewing@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Well, you could still pee standing up.

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          my dude, the she-wee has existed since, uh, plastic. maybe only as long as women have served in the military.

          • Bluewing@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            Not a very common thing to find in the wild.

            • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              i bet if you plucked a pitcher plant it would work

    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      I’m not sure you really want that. As a horny teen I wanked myself dry a few times and it is painful.

      • Courtney (she/her/they) @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 month ago

        No, I’m positive I want that.

        I think as a teen we all went a little too hard with our equipment once or twice lmao

      • redjard@reddthat.com
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        1 month ago

        Balls only make sperm, the fluid is the prostate(?) or smthn, it comes from inside the body.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      1 month ago

      Yeah like is there an artificial flavour I can try? Also someone attached to the birth kit

  • Seth Taylor@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Trans lifehack?

    • CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Was about to ask where to find some, asking for a friend of course

      • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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        1 month ago

        But it would make you a nullo?

  • rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 month ago

    Free orchidectomy and penectomy? Where are these apples found? Asking for a friend

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      1 month ago

      free castration

  • Annoyed_🦀 @lemmy.zip
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    1 month ago

    Shouldn’t it be called Instant Trans Apple?

    • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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      1 month ago

      This implies trans women are just men without genitals.

      • iocase@lemmy.zip
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        1 month ago

        This implies the speed running community doesn’t exist

        • Callypo@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          This has dire cobsequences for the furry community!

      • qarbone@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        No it doesn’t? The apple doesn’t check if you’re a man before de-dickandballs-ing you. It’ll uproot the twig and berries whether you’re cis, trans, or intersex.

      • Lumisal@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Your comment implies women that are trans and get surgery aren’t trans, just men without genitals.

        • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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          1 month ago

          No, it doesn’t.

    • sunsofold@lemmy.zip
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      1 month ago

      I imagine it’d be more like the kind of removal one gets from other natural causes, like frostbite or a bloodclot. I.e. painful and necrotic

      • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        you left out snake and pumabite

  • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 month ago

    If, hypothetically, some sort of person who didn’t have a dick and balls were to eat it?

    • qarbone@lemmy.world
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      It’s expunging 15g of crotchmeat no matter what you do or don’t have, so buckle up.

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        So, for reference, studies like the sources for this article suggest the average human penis weighs between 70-100 grams.

        So you’d be growing a micropenis at 15g. Not quite the effusive expulsion you were imagining.

      • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 month ago

        Oh. So if someone had a

        Wait. Penises get erect by engorging with fluid. Do you lose a smaller percentage if you have an erect vs flaccid penis while eating one?

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      you get all the dicksandballses that have fallen off since the last dickandballsless person to eat one

      • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 month ago

        So this is just a snack for all trans people?

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Yeah, like David Bowie

  • SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org
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    1 month ago

    No, thanks. I hate sweet apples. Give them to us sour and crunchy.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      sweet apples have their uses. get a nice apple corer and fuck yeah, that recipe’s easy.

    • king_comrade@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      What’s apple’s, precious?

  • bacon_pdp@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    How could one fund an orchard to provide these for free to transfem women?

    • iltoroargento@startrek.website
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      1 month ago

      And conservative men.

      • bacon_pdp@lemmy.world
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        deleted by creator

        • iltoroargento@startrek.website
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          That’s basically where I was going with the joke, anyway. I’m hoping this could be the change they need to reassess their life and join the human race.

          • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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            i mean, yeah i got you were joking. one of my firmest morals is that people have the right to choose what they put in their bodies and in order to do that they have to know what they are putting in it and what it will do. but like, woooooo this apple is going to forcefemme you is kinda funny.

            • iltoroargento@startrek.website
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              1 month ago

              Lol exactly

  • Jo4ted@lemmy.zip
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    Any other transfems want to join me in going on an adventure to find these?

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    An apple a day keeps the doctor away…because now the doctor is too depressed to go to work and be a doctor…

    • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      No, she’s fine.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    My sister would love these.

  • altphoto@lemmy.today
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    If mine fell off, I would make a device to keep it alive so I could play with it when ever I wanted to. Plus now that’s detached you could toss it around, let her borrow it for a few nights or let her use it in the shower. Lots of good things could be coming from this. We just don’t see it because we haven’t been in this position before.

    • Gonzako@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      WifiDICK

    • karlhungus@lemmy.ca
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      1 month ago

      https://youtu.be/55uaB-0nawo

      • altphoto@lemmy.today
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        1 month ago

        Hilarious!

      • JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz
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        1 month ago

        Wow, almost forgot about this one.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      it didn’t say they died. it just say they fall off.

  • atomicorange@lemmy.world
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    No negatives you say?

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