I still struggle at times but I do way better these days. Took a lot of work. I wish you the best!

I was going to DM you but figured it might be helpful for me to post publicly. I do want to add that everyone experiences things differently so I am basing my advice off of MY experience. Some of my advice may not directly apply to you but I still hope you take something from it. What happens before spiraling can look different for each person. I am also very busy right now and writing in a hurry so I apologize if anything is confusing. Feel free to ask me any questions.

So when my father died I literally felt nothing. For years I told people I did not care. I hated when people tried to show me sympathy. I just hated all of it. The thing is it did affect me. I was still very young. I would always try really hard on my school work to impress my dad. When he died I didn’t do school work anymore. I lost all my driver. I came up with other reasons for it. It was never because of my dad’s suicide. This affected my life moving forward. This small piece slowly consumed the rest of my life.

Since I had no drive I did not graduate. School did not matter to me so I was getting high instead. At the time I liked downers because I literally did not want to experience reality. I wanted to black out. I wanted to stay blacked out. You can imagine the messes this made with my relationships with people. I wasn’t really mean or anything to people but I slowly became so self destructive it hurt everyone around me as well. I still would tell people my dad’s death didn’t affect me. I believed it too.

Watch your drive. If you aren’t doing the things you normally enjoy doing. The thing is you can tell yourself “well I am doing things”. I was playing video games. I hung out with friends. I made jokes and laughed. It was me trying to enjoy life because death was always on my mind. They were distractions. Not really what I wanted to do. I wanted to make music and do martial arts.

Go to therapy NOW even if you feel like you do not need it. If you feel fairly functional it is fair to not make weekly appointments but I would to start. If you cannot do therapy for any reason then see if you can find support groups of some kind. Preferably in person. It is good to connect with people who understand what it is like to experience these types of traumatic events. Just make sure they are people who are actively trying to heal.

Had a similar feeling when my dad killed himself. I’ll message you when I get home in case you end up how I did (affecting me slowly without me realizing it eventually spiraling)

It’s about representation

That’s why they want AI Robots

They mean every slur actually.

Oh you haven’t met the right people bud lol once you find that world it grows big.

Yeah basically I saw a friend turn into a Nazi because of the algorithm and just kind of logged off. I did this with TV before everyone went streaming. I don’t like being told what to think.

I haven’t entirely shut myself out but I tune in when I want to now. Otherwise I’m just going to work and doing activist shit. Freetime is video games and books.

I just didn’t recognize Katy Perry in that particular photo

I couldn’t recognize her by the particular photo. Lemmy is the only form of social media I really use. I mostly exist in the physical world and just keep up with the news. You’re right that I know who she is though lol

Who is she

Oh thank you for reminding me. Glad to hear it’s doing well

I’m so stupid. I saw this yesterday and couldn’t wrap my head around it and moved on. Your comment proves my mind has a blind spot.

They basically think it’s being oppressive.

I literally only ask for this and people get like that guy lol I’m never sure how to get through to them.

Same except with the Legion Go.

Yeah. I am Chicano but identify more with my indigenous side and am friends with plenty of Native Americans. I’ve always personally blamed Judeo-Christian thinking. The whole manifest destiny mindset is insane.

I mean read just a piece of how different things were before those religions came to this land.

A second, related factor was the absence of large domestic animals in North America, which meant that instead of the ‘intensive’, ploughing-and-manuring agriculture practised in Europe, Native American farmers used ‘extensive’ techniques, cultivating an area for a few years and then moving on to let the soil recover. Most groups - hunters and plant-gatherers as well as agriculturists - viewed land as a common resource rather than a commodity that could be owned. Tribes and families had the right to hunt, fish or grow crops in defined places, but the concept of a fenced-off parcel of land being the exclusive property of an individual would have been utterly alien to most, if not all, Native Americans. The Indian attitude towards land was part of a broader, more fundamental understanding of reality which underpinned the whole of native life. Although, again, there were enormous local variations in mythology and ritual, some of the essentials of this world-view were shared by many, if not most, cultures. Perhaps the most basic element was the belief in sacred power: the idea that everything in the universe was interconnected and possessed a spiritual force or energy that could affect the lives of ‘the people’ and of all other living things. Gaining power and the aid of powerful beings was absolutely vital: for success in hunting, plentiful crops, good health, thriving children and victory in battle. But power was also dangerous.

Source: Chapter 2 of The Earth Shall Weep by James Wilson.

What you’re worrying about is what you do after a blind watch

I didn’t even make this connection. Great draw friend!

You’re right I downvoted but it was an actual slip of the finger while scrolling.