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InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 3 months ago

["Get your crabs ready" news] Mitch McConnell, 82, taken away in wheelchair after falling TWICE.

www.thedailybeast.com

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["Get your crabs ready" news] Mitch McConnell, 82, taken away in wheelchair after falling TWICE.

www.thedailybeast.com

InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 3 months ago
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Mitch McConnell, 82, Taken Away in Wheelchair After Falling Twice
www.thedailybeast.com
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The senator will continue to carry out his duties as normal, his office said.
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  • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    It lives in my brain forever that Mitch McConnell eats apple sauce for breakfast, mashed potatoes for lunch, and ham and gravy for dinner every single day.

    Probably due to dentures. But one of the most powerful and richest ghouls of the American Regime eating joyless baby food is some sort of metaphor.

    • godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      he should be eating shit in a dirt hole

      • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        inshallah

    • CommunistBear [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      I distinctly remember Hillary saying she has something like a plain hotdog with ketchup for lunch most days. All of the money they’d ever want or need and they eat the most basic slop imaginable.

      • godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        i think it was even a bunless hot dog. just the weiner with ketchup. literally what my ass was eating when i was 5 and poor

        • foxontherocks [undecided, undecided]@hexbear.net
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          That is revolting. It is one thing if she is going outside to get a dirty water dog everyday. That is sick but in the correct, NY kind of way. This sounds like she has a pack of hotdogs in a minifridge in her office and she is microwaving them.

          • diegeticalt (any)@lemmygrad.ml
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            3 months ago

            deleted by creator

      • QuietCupcake [any, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        Remember how she carries a bottle of hot sauce with her wherever she goes? Especially if that hotdog comment was said when she was campaigning, it was only because she thought it would make her more appealing to the lowly, unwashed masses. “See, I’m just like all you dirty poors!”

        • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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          3 months ago

          I think the hot sauce thing turned out to be true, like she does really have a bottle on but staffers said she put it on everything even stuff you wouldn’t normally like she was a character from iZombie. So even her humanising “normal” behaviour was done in an odd and off-putting manner

      • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        Like ghouls as they are, you know Obama and Newsom are eating like fancy lads.

        • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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          3 months ago

          Internationally Trudeau and Macron are eating good.

          Starmer and Albanese probably too but then they have to lie and triangulate on something neutral and boring.

          • Horse {they/them}@lemmygrad.ml
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            3 months ago

            starmer eats at the high-end restaurants in parliament that are heavily subsidized by the taxpayer
            they pay less for fancy sit-down meals than the average prole does for a greasy take out

            • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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              Yeah but like with whole Kemi Badenoch sandwich thing he’s got to pretend like he is not doing that.

          • anarchoilluminati [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            3 months ago

            You can’t tell me Xi isn’t getting the best fucking Chinese food in the world.

            • REgon [they/them]@hexbear.net
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              3 months ago

              I’d believe it if you told me his mom still cooks for him lol. He has the vibe

          • KuroXppi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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            3 months ago

            dont all pms just eat raw onion for lunch???

      • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        is she depressed?

    • foxontherocks [undecided, undecided]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      It is wild how this describes like HUNDREDS of our politicians.

  • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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    I know if he dies he’ll simply be replaced by another horrible ghoul. I still really want him to die though.

    • FnordPrefect [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      “The problem with liberalism is, you never run out of another horrible ghoul”

    • KuroXppi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      holden-bloodfeast my time has finally come

  • viva_la_juche [they/them, any]@hexbear.net
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    • godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      no way some old dude who has visions of death while he’s trying to give a speech is capable of turning to his side when he’s mid fall. that turtle definitely fell face first into his old man goop

    • ShareThatBread [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      Wonder if it was a container of fruit

  • halfpipe [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    Like half of congress is 70+ at this point. I’m surprised this doesn’t happen more often.

    How long until most of congress is required to go around in wheelchairs, accompanied by nurses, because the house and senate majorities are so thin that it just takes one or two dinosaurs falling over to reshuffle US politics.

    • crime [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      holden-bloodfeast

    • godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      if we’re lucky a few of these old toads will croak and fix those margins

  • Rojo27 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    Please die while Congress is in session, pretty please. It would be so funnytimmy-pray

    • christian [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      An entire nation eagerly watching C-SPAN like children on Christmas eve.

  • quarrk [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    I don’t understand why these people even want to keep working into their 80s and 90s. What the hell? It sounds miserable.

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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      to be fair, their job is eating $40 steaks with lobbyists and no-call-no-showing votes to take away their constituents rights

      • quarrk [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        I’m sure they all wear dentures. Anything spicier than an Ensure shake gives them debilitating indigestion.

        If I’m 83 and breaking my hips walking up 100-step marble staircases, I would be questioning why I’m doing that instead of living out my remaining years watching Price is Right on my yacht.

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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      I’m with you but for them congress is nirvana.

    • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      You get driven in a nice car from your fancy DC townhouse or penthouse to a huge office with comfy chair and private bathroom where your staffers act like servants while telling you how important you are. Then you go to nice restaurants with lobbyists.

      It’s like how people would talk about Bezos doing 60 hr weeks. The conditions he “worked” under shouldn’t be considered work to begin with.

      (Personally being an introverted person it sounds the worst but I get why others would like it)

    • turmoil@hexbear.net
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      well it’s not like their jobs involve doing any actual work

  • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    Ffs can’t this decrepit ghoul do one decent thing and fall on camera?

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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      I really wonder how he functions every day in public so we never see video or even get a blurry photo by some rando of him in physical distress. Maybe he always has two aides on either side of him and their entire job is to be sure the Great Man is never seen falling over like a sack of rancid potatoes.

      • ClathrateG [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        There’s was that one vid of him ‘glitching out’ but yeah you’d think there’d be more

        • sentient [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          3 months ago

          there have been at least a couple videos of him glitching out at this point but i think the media doesn’t really make it front page news

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    lathe-of-heaven

    • FnordPrefect [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      stairs

      • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        Let’s not warn him about those stairs dawg

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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      Your comment made me think of something - https://hexbear.net/comment/5893001

      • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        Ahhhh, classic cinema

  • crime [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    Uncritical support to comrades stairs and gravity in their protracted physics war against genocidal octogenarians

  • coeliacmccarthy [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    die bitch

  • Justice@lemmygrad.ml
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    3 months ago

    I have a feeling Trump might give some sweet “eulogy” similar to his Colin Powell words when he died

    If I have to live in this slowly increasing dystopia, I at least demand Orange Clown Man ritualistically embarrass his opponents (even people who were never really such) in life and death

    I can absolutely guarantee when Bolton finally croaks, Trump’s words on him are going to be golden. This is all I have to live for.

    Wonderful to see Colin Powell, who made big mistakes on Iraq and famously, so-called weapons of mass destruction, be treated in death so beautifully by the Fake News Media," Trump said in a statement. "Hope that happens to me someday. He was a classic RINO, if even that, always being the first to attack other Republicans. He made plenty of mistakes, but anyway, may he rest in peace!

    Talk about “perfect” phone calls. That’s a perfect “fuck you” when a piece of shit just died and the media is riding his corpse still

    Edit: Ok, I keep editing faster than a NYT editor when they’re covering a fresh Israeli war crime…

    But I just learned Bolton is younger than Trump (wtf???). He’s “only” 76. Considering he appears to be healthier (who knows) than Trump, well, nature better not rob me. I need this.

    Also, check this out from US News

    Only a handful – such as Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who angered Trump when the Kentucky Republican said Trump was morally responsible for the Jan. 6 insurrection – made more effusive remarks.

    Eh? Eh? (Please god)

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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      If I have to live in this slowly increasing dystopia, I at least demand

      Me too. But I’m nearly 100% certain that in McConnell’s written final requests - he states that under no circumstances should Trump appear at any official event after his death and that Trump should not attend his funeral. But on the plus side - Trump will riff to journos to dance on McConnell’s grave of so at least we’ll have that. And I assume Trump will do that a few times.

      • Justice@lemmygrad.ml
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        Oh yeah, I did not mean a proper eulogy. Trump would never crawl his ass to a cemetery or whatever to degrade himself like that for McConnell. Maybe for Netanyahu. Definitely not any currently living American politicians that I can think of

        • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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          I wish reporters had brains and interests like the rest of Americans. They could ask Trump today about McConnell’s physical problems. The response would probably be gold.

    • christian [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      I hadn’t seen or don’t remember the Colin Powell analogy so I imagined it was basically the RBG one before I got to the quote.

  • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    Die already you corrupt fascist fuck! sicko-crab

  • Philosoraptor [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    Gravity take my (potential) energy spirit-bomb

  • TheGenderWitch [she/her, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    FUCKING DIE PLEASE

  • JoeByeThen [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    second-plane

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