If you dont want to both provide and receive caring, nurturing, and intimacy, as needed in a relationship, stay single.
That is the entire point. “to have and to hold” isn’t a nearly universal marriage vow for nothing, even if it’s a lie when said by many of either sex.
Sadly, as with virtually everything in society, relationships and marriage after a lovely but brief enlightened period are regressing back to a transactional business arrangement and not something based in mutual love, warts and all. Sucks to suck.
Eh…. Of all the people I know in relationships, none of them are transactional like you’re saying and they all want to be supported. So, unless my area of the world is different, this may just be a vocal minority that you’re running into online.
I’m married myself, but have noticed a fairly recent “reality” dating television proclivity rotting my significant other’s brain with regards to this.
I’m concerned for her because she never used to be into such drivel and it is changing her opinions on the dynamics of marital life. Those shows are the gospel of making relationships about material gain and tit for tat.
I might be lucky in that the worst reality show my wife watches is “The Challenge” which left most of its real drama behind and is now more like 30 or 40 year olds doing physical challenges.
Sadly, as with virtually everything in society, relationships and marriage after a lovely but brief enlightened period are regressing back to a transactional business arrangement and not something based in mutual love, warts and all. Sucks to suck.
There definitely seems to be this feeling online that everyone has that everything is now terrible and everything was wonderful and roses in the past. But that simply is not true. It isn’t worse now than it was 20 years ago, and it’s a lot better now than it was 50 years ago. I really do not understand why people seem to go around believing everything is falling apart.
people think they need stuff, we are programmed to think we need x things, which people describe as “the grass is greener on the other side”. if you think a girlfreind will help you, maybe it will, but i seen more people more people dissapointed in a realthship then worth it (not saying they are unhappy).
Varried by region culture and era but yeah at the bare minimum it was true for the upper classes and merchants. Farmers, Craftsmen, and Mariners seem to have generally married for social reason be it friendship or love.
If you dont want to both provide and receive caring, nurturing, and intimacy, as needed in a relationship, stay single.
That is the entire point. “to have and to hold” isn’t a nearly universal marriage vow for nothing, even if it’s a lie when said by many of either sex.
Sadly, as with virtually everything in society, relationships and marriage after a lovely but brief enlightened period are regressing back to a transactional business arrangement and not something based in mutual love, warts and all. Sucks to suck.
Eh…. Of all the people I know in relationships, none of them are transactional like you’re saying and they all want to be supported. So, unless my area of the world is different, this may just be a vocal minority that you’re running into online.
I’m married myself, but have noticed a fairly recent “reality” dating television proclivity rotting my significant other’s brain with regards to this.
I’m concerned for her because she never used to be into such drivel and it is changing her opinions on the dynamics of marital life. Those shows are the gospel of making relationships about material gain and tit for tat.
I might be lucky in that the worst reality show my wife watches is “The Challenge” which left most of its real drama behind and is now more like 30 or 40 year olds doing physical challenges.
If anything that kind of transactional relationship is less likely now then in the past since divorce is now more socially acceptable.
There definitely seems to be this feeling online that everyone has that everything is now terrible and everything was wonderful and roses in the past. But that simply is not true. It isn’t worse now than it was 20 years ago, and it’s a lot better now than it was 50 years ago. I really do not understand why people seem to go around believing everything is falling apart.
people think they need stuff, we are programmed to think we need x things, which people describe as “the grass is greener on the other side”. if you think a girlfreind will help you, maybe it will, but i seen more people more people dissapointed in a realthship then worth it (not saying they are unhappy).
Hasn’t marriage been a business affair for much of history?
Varried by region culture and era but yeah at the bare minimum it was true for the upper classes and merchants. Farmers, Craftsmen, and Mariners seem to have generally married for social reason be it friendship or love.
I literally said it’s regressing back to that after an enlightened period.