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☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmygrad.ml to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 11 months ago

The US government claims to have powers of chronomancy

lemmygrad.ml

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  • cross-posted to:
  • funny@lemmygrad.ml
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The US government claims to have powers of chronomancy

lemmygrad.ml

☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmygrad.ml to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 11 months ago
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  • cross-posted to:
  • funny@lemmygrad.ml

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/7578188

https://www.whitehouse.gov/articles/2025/04/8716/

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  • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    He means that you can use a Cybertruck to travel to 1970s South Africa

    • dumpster_dove [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      All you need to do is hit 88 mph

      • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        They tried for that but it kept catching fire so they settled for 1488 meters per hour

        • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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          11 months ago

          They tried for that but it kept catching fire

          So it was getting close to the superior german WW2 tanks design

  • BeamBrain [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.netM
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    11 months ago

    Juche Necromancy vs Capitalist Chronomancy

    • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      We all know who will win in that fight kim-blood

    • DefinitelyNotAPhone [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Not content with aping the Tiberium saga through climate change, reality decided we needed the endless campy war of Red Alert as well.

  • SamotsvetyVIA@hexbear.net
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    deleted by creator

    • SamotsvetyVIA@hexbear.net
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      deleted by creator

      • Lovely_sombrero [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        Folks, you won’t believe it. They invented the past! Everyone was always saying that there is just the present. Great!

  • Lovely_sombrero [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Our technologies permit us to manipulate time and space. They leave distance annihilated, cause things to grow, and improve productivity.

    Great copypasta!

    • 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Site tagline material

  • CeliacMcCarthy [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    object class: burger

  • adultswim_antifa [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    wut

  • BodyBySisyphus [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Our plan is to accelerate the rest of the world to relativistic speeds so the US passes centuries of technological development in an instant and is prepared for global domination once it resynchronizes.

  • JoeByeThen [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    he-admit-it

  • erik [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Kratsios is a Thiel guy, maybe he accidentally revealed too much here.

  • Lamprey [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Let them cook

  • dragongloss [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    catgirl-huh

  • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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    11 months ago

    How cute

    • DefinitelyNotAPhone [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      “Trazyn is responsible for this, somehow.”

      • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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        11 months ago

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Oh shit, Trump’s got his hands on Dialga and Palkia!

  • MaxOS [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Trump finally building the Stargate

    • Crucible [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      We’re making tremendous deals with the Goa’uld, loser Jack ONeill can’t even imagine what they’ve given us already

    • Nay@feddit.nl
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      11 months ago

      But that back in your mouth.

      Startgate deserves better than that!

      • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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        11 months ago

        Stargate is a show that i can’t watch anymore after becoming communist. Basically every episode i laugh “no chance US would do that” at a surprising lack of imperialism and incredibly naive belief in the justice and universality of US judiciary system, especially striking for members of US armed forces and intelligence services.

        Also the show is basically grimdark, Goa’uld parasitic theocracy gets replaced with US space imperialism.

        • Nay@feddit.nl
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          11 months ago

          You’re not wrong

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