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Posadas [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish ·
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2 years ago

Oh no. How sad and totally not suspicious. Hey Alexa, play Despacito.

hexbear.net

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Oh no. How sad and totally not suspicious. Hey Alexa, play Despacito.

hexbear.net

Posadas [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish ·
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2 years ago
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https://nitter.net/sh4keer/status/1722044726277272004

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  • JohnBrownsBussy2 [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Place your bets:

    A.) Intra-police-gang conflict.

    B.) A hilarious training accident.

    C.) They knew too much.

    D.) They all saw a bag of fentanyl, inducing psychosomatic asphyxiation.

    E.) He’s back…

    spoiler

    • NotErisma@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      deleted by creator

      • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        IT’S TIME TO SPLIT!

        • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          FUCK EM UP SPACEMAN

        • NotErisma@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          deleted by creator

      • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        There are ghosts everywhere!..

        Something hilarious must have happened here!

        • NotErisma@hexbear.net
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          deleted by creator

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      PUNISHED DORNER

    • ReadFanon [any, any]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      There’s gotta be some corruption or serious misconduct charges that were being laid against these officers.

    • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      Dorner was a warrior, from the land of the burning sun.

      • IzyaKatzmann [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        I think this is a song reference, to Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, in case anyone cared.

        The first line is something like:

        Roland was a warrior, from the land of the midnight sun

        • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          When one thinks of an undead gunman seeking vengeance, Roland is first to come to mind.

    • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      they got Pontypool’d by the word “fentanyl”

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    This is the sheriff’s department with the internal gangs, right? Yeah, totally suicides.

    • Posadas [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      2 years ago

      We totally investigated this, no need to look into this any further.

      • ikiru@lemmy.ml
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        2 years ago

        Ah, yes, just 4 unrelated suicides all by (former) coworkers on the same day.

        Must have just been Suicide Vibes Day again.

        • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          It’s not completely implausible. The LASP has I think 30,000k henchmen, and Cops have a high suicide rate.

          • ikiru@lemmy.ml
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            2 years ago

            4 in a month, I’d believe it. 4 in a week, a bit strange.

            4 on the same day and it’s LASD? I highly doubt it’s a coincidence.

            • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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              2 years ago

              Valid. It’s just as likely it’s some kind of fucky gang execution.

              • ikiru@lemmy.ml
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                2 years ago

                Is LASD not included in the fucky gang category? Haha

                • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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                  2 years ago

                  In this specific case the LASD has numerous gangs operating within the corps of LASD deputies. So a distinction needs to be made between the LASD as a whole and the smaller groups within it.

            • macerated_baby_presidents [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              2 years ago

              mondays amirite

          • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.deBanned from community
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            2 years ago

            No. It’s not plausible at all. It’s incredibly not plausible. There’s around 700,000 police in the US and on average one cop out of the entire country kills themselves every three days.

            To say that three or four cops/sheriff’s from the same department unrelatedly all killed themselves on the same day is not plausible at all. They just hit their entire states yearly average in a single day. Only a dumbass would think “its plausible”, or even possible, and the only way around that would be if they all knew each other and had planned this all out.

            • Darth_Reagan [they/them, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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              2 years ago

              Only a dumbass would think “its plausible”

              Kind of unnecessarily rude. It is statistically possible for this type of thing to happen, even if a more sinister and non-random reason seems very, very likely.

            • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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              2 years ago

              Cool story.

              • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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                2 years ago

                are you disagreeing? not sure how to read this

    • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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      2 years ago

      deleted by creator

  • aaro [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.

    people call these fuckers for wellness checks and to solve crimes 🙃

    • emizeko [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      A source close to the investigation indicated the deaths are believed to be unrelated.

      hasan-ok-dude

    • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      we should call more wellness checks on the pigs

      • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        dorner knock knock Hiya Officer McGrady, we got some complaints about the smell of bacon?

      • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.netBanned
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        2 years ago

        Honestly surprised more cops don’t get swatted

  • NotErisma@hexbear.net
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    deleted by creator

  • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    officer-down

    officer-down-legacy

  • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    It’s incredible that they all shot themselves in the back of the head with the same gun, worst case of suicide I’ve ever seen

  • comrade_pibb [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Alternate title: LA sheriff dept announces four new good cops

  • Rom [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    crab-party ralsei-dancesusie-dancerip-bozo-graverip-bozo-graverip-bozorip-bozo-graverip-bozo-gravesusie-danceralsei-dancecrab-party

    • HexbearGPT [comrade/them]@hexbear.netBannedBanned from community
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      2 years ago

      crab-party

  • principalkohoutek [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Reminds me of the underage sex trafficking-related officer suicide that happened a few years back in Oakland

  • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    there’s easier ways to stop being a cop, but who am i to judge

  • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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    2 years ago

    Found dead in his closet, having asphyxiated after shooting himself six times in the back of the head.

  • captcha [any]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Killed themselves with a shot to the head while in a burning car?

  • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    officer-down

  • DickFuckarelli [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Some BODIES are having a case of the Mondays.

    • emizeko [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      :mondays:

  • redfern45 [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Not my problem

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