if I get to keep that bag of money, 0
EDIT: plus, you know Clarence won’t try to start a conversation
(it’s full of Iraqi Dinars)
I’ll spend the whole flight passing notes to Donald about revaluing it
and i will make sure to dress appropriately

With an outfit like that I don’t think it matters which seat you choose. I’m going to have to say 8 or 9 will probably guarantee the non-survival of the most impactful targets, though, because we can safely assume several aisles forward and back get got too.
2
I gotta talk to the smoke ape it’s probably got cool powers
- Loomer will get thrown off again, and you get 2 seats.
0 definitely.
How tied down are we talking? Can I still set off my vest?
Sorry, TSA took it since it used bottles larger than 3.4 ounces (100 ml)
What if I swallow a stick of dynamite before I get on the plane like a loony toones character?
9 definitely. can scam elon out of some money. AI powered meme coin with governance functions for improving government efficiency launching at the price of $4.20 per token with a dark pool where we secretly own 70% of the float. we can have a second token as well and swap between them with an AI algorithm to keep them stable in case the price drops before we can dump our share. we can call it ElonCoin and every white woman that wants to get an IVF kid with musk gets 10k tokens to solve the fertility problem in united states, and this token can be used to secure the future of the kid by transferring it to a secure account and investing it in tesla. I’ll just need 200 million dollars to get this whole thing up and running. 190 mil will be spent on ads on X itself (in reality i pocket the entire 200 mil).
it’s foolproof.
As if I can’t purposefully annoy the living hell out of any of them until they shut up. They’re stuck on the plane with me
- Just have to imply that some pizzagate stuff happened at a papajohns and I’ve got in-flight entertainment
I mean 4 is so obviously better than alternatives, the quiz feels like a non choice. I get papa John AND Alex jones???
yeah but you have to sit in front of some of the most fascist loudmouths in the country
Shit yeah I neglected to consider the rows in front and back, you’re definitely gonna have to listen to them as well, sigh.
But people are picking the Trump and RFK row and I think they’re forgetting how bad Trump is supposed to smell. RFK would probably keep offering you tinctures and months old jerky he made from dead birds he found around Washington so I don’t buy that that’s a good option.
- I don’t care how but that plane is gonna crash with me on it and I at least want front seats to victory
Witnessed!
Any. At cruising altitude I crack my false tooth filled with VX nerve agent as I belch with my mouth wide open from the can of sprite I slammed during initial ascent. It’s been an honor.

Superb editorial decision to make #3 the Third Wheel™ seat
I’m picking 8. 10 hours of telling Trump what I overheard the other passengers saying about him. Just lean forward and loudly tell Elon “No, you’re not smarter than the President!” and then watch him dig himself deeper.
- Because maybe the gorilla will share his weed with me and the other seat is just AI so it’ll be empty enough for me to put extra bags on.
9 easy. I bet I could convince Jeff Bezos that it’d be funny to help me scam Elon Musk out of a bunch of money.
















