My culture… is in a petrie dish.
My culture is also in this persons petri dish… contaminating the sample.
I’m Dutch/British, and I can honestly say the Dutch don’t (historically) like tasty food. Maybe it’s the Calvinism, maybe were culturally broken. Maybe both.
Behold the Dutch breakfast
Now behold the Dutch lunch
No, that’s not a joke or a mistake. That’s real.
Typical Dutch food is Stamppot. Which is boiled potatoes (poorly) crushed with 1 or 2 boiled vegetables in it. There are a dozen versions of it and people will argue which beacon of sadness is better.
Another typical Dutch food: pea soup so thick you can eat it with a fork. It has peas, bacon, potato and sadness. Recently people added stuff to make it tasty, but historically it’s just peas and potato.
As a little break from food talk, here’s a famous Dutch painter making a famous Dutch painting: People eating potatoes . Literally just potatoes.
A typical classic Dutch desert is Hangop, which is yoghurt you hang (hence the name) in a cheesecloth to let the water soak out to make it more dense. That’s it. Plain yoghurt. Maybe add some honey for this amazing Dutch “treat”.
Now, we have amazing cheeses today, but historically Dutch cheese was pretty shit. Most of the land isn’t suited for cattle, so the milk had very little flavour. The Dutch invented adding herbs and spices into cheese. While french cheese might have a vague hint of cumin due to the ripening process in an ancient cave system, the Dutch would just chuck cumin into cheese.
We hate food, and it’s a genetic problem we still haven’t managed to break.
Yeah, I call bullshit or a case of not appreciating your own culture.
Dutch were the damn spice traders of the world. This can be still seen in many dishes, even damn cookies like hagel.
You have had proper meats, so all meat products were in your cuisine - rook and metworsts. Pancakes with bacon and shit. Tiger bread with spreads.
You eat the damn abomination of a spice liquorice like its good, and you’re per capita biggest liquorice consumers.
Regarding sweet desserts, you have had a shitton of different pies and buttercakes, as well as this weird cake sandwitch called tampons or smthing like that.
Stamppot is food for the poorest workers. Like literally Dutch version of, idk, mcdonalds or smiliar. Of course its going to be filling but not cuisine. If you eat it daily then damn, I’m sorry for you, grab some pears and red wine and make stoofperen.
I had a Dutch roommate once who routinely ate sprinkles on toast for breakfast — she called it traditional.
Half my family is from the Caribbean and I’ll admit we eat some odd things (all manner of salted fruit for example), but I have a hard time computing sprinkle toast as a complete meal
Thank you! Nobody I’ve pointed this out to seems to understand what an abomination cold butter on raw bread, with sprinkles is, I thought I was the crazy one.
It’s a treasured tradition in Australia and New Zealand: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_bread
This is why you people were expelled to the furthest possible distance.
The only major colonial empire which did not, in any way, import food from the colonies?
I’m from Denmark, we traditionally ate porridge and potatoes and pork, and of course rye bread so dense you can club someone to death with it if you want to.
Oh no, we imported lots of food. And we kept it nearly separate, never to mix it with our own.
We imported Indonesian food, mixed it with Cantonese food and called it “Chinese food”, or the “Chinese Indian Speciality Restaurant” https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinees-Indisch_restaurant
The best Dutch food owes a lot to the occupation of Indonesia.
See, I know almost nothing about the Dutch cuisine. I heard you deep fry almost everything, and I like stroopwafels a lot.
In 10th grade I spent 2 weeks in the Netherlands on a school trip, but I remember absolutely nothing about the food which is actually sort of odd.
If I had to guess, I’d assume you eat classic farmers food, carb heavy with some sort of meat and dairy. But maybe that’s just because I assume everyone north of the Rhine to eat that.
You take those stamppot hating words back or we’re gonna have a problem vriend
Tap for spoiler
But yeah our breakfast and lunches are dog shit
On the other hand… Bitterballen, poffertjes, awesome cheeses of all sorts, rookworst, stroopwafels, spekkoek, speculaas, advocaat…
And stampot is awesome, shut your pinhole. :)
Oh yeah. Pannekoek
Bitterballen is up there as one of the best drinking foods I’ve had.
Bitterballen, poffertjes, awesome cheeses of all sorts, rookworst, stroopwafels, (…) pannekoek.
We’re great at snacks, that’s absolutely true.
But we share speculaas with Belgium and Germany, and spekkoek is Indonesian. Advocaat is… Probably an acquired taste, I’ve never seen anyone under 60 drink it
I’d be drinking Advocaat all the time if it wasn’t so expensive.
You know it’s bad when a Brit thinks your food is bad.
I remember once hearing a Dutch person say something like “British food might be shit but at least they have something, there are no notable Dutch dishes”.
Relevant: https://youtube.com/shorts/co9ue2CQjEA
Okay but to be fair we actually have insane amounts of alcohol and alcoholism in eastern europe. I think all cultures have something unique whether that be good or bad. Sweden, where im living now, truly is very antisocial sometimes.
Okay, but my culture really likes flavourful food that tastes good!
So that at least excludes the British
Shut your whore mouth, Tikka Masala is great.
It’s telling that it’s always tikka masala, though, isn’t it?
Cornish pasty, cheddar cheese, Cumberland sausages, Lincolnshire sausages, not Richmond sausages.
marmite crumpets, there easy
I honestly enjoy mushy peas. Not from a box, but fresh made. And there’s a million amazing pies.
This is a cry for help, clearly.
I get mushy peas on Australian style meat pies a lot. It’s really good, especially with a shittonne of gravy.
Fish n’ chips isn’t complete without it.
Gotta say, for British food, fish and chips are surprisingly decent.
This is a war crime.
Nah, it was quite okay.
lol the tea really makes this.
Now I want pork pie
Okay but do you spank a log you fed all month until it poops candy and presents?
At first I thought piñata, but that’s not usually a log, and you don’t feed it? Wtf is this?
Catalan Tio de Nadal. Catalans are obsessed with shit so they also have the Caganer.
My culture is super unique because it’s built on classism and religious wars.
Well, my culture is uniquer because it’s built on classism and wars against religions!
My cultures unique because the desert cooked our pale asses and we shot the religious for being too loud. The Catholics get an exception because nana is Catholic and shed kill us all.
I am from the south of northern Germany, we are close enough to the nordics that food is not that important to us save for a few exceptions.
Our grandpas are at least as bad as the grandmas in regards to pissing them off being a bad idea but that has more to do with many of them (of both genders) being assholes to younger people.
I live in one of the cities with the most crimes committed in the country but most normal people will never really notice it especially since the Hell’s Angels don’t have as much of a presence and direct influence in the city center as in the 90s and early 2000s.
Crackfurt am Meins oder Hannover?
Ironically where I live everyone downplays the criminal groups when they really shouldn’t.
Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?
My culture has this one food that takes a lifetime to learn to like, that nobody else seems to appreciate. We will aggressively push it on you every dinner, partly to watch your reaction!
I love Marmite!
My culture is unique because we went from stretching accross the black sea and the baltic sea to a small eastern european country, because basically the nobility decided they wanted to be polish (and also some other factors) and before that all documents were written in Belarussian, because we got our form of written language in 1547.
My culture is unique, we spend half the day arguing and the other half reading really old books :3
Vatican?
Is this what cultural Marxism refers to (/s)
I was referring to Judaism :3
Narrows it down to the Irish, the Italians, and Russians.
Forgot traditional culture and embrace neocultures for the terminally online.
I don’t want neocultures in my food OR my grandma.
Your grandma had more cultures in her than my anthropology textbook.
I wonder what percentage of Western lemmings can actually say they have at least these “simple” things (excluding the last few points, of course).
Cornbread and fried chicken have been around since before 1980, but the rest is pretty generic and fitting. I also have relatives who were moonshiners out in Ohio by a town which is literally called “knockemstiff” because one drink was powerful enough to “knock ya stiff” lol
Not sure the part about criminals fits though. Old men running illegal rooster fights aren’t exactly organized crime haha
Every culture other than maybe the British and the Dutch has good meals, some are just more hidden.
The neoliberal 80s and 90s killed families.
It’s 50/50 if your grandma is horribly racist or actually pretty cool.
Bags in a bag are boring, have you heard of a box of boxes? You never know when you need a box at some point.
Parties were synonymous with heavy drinking where I grew up. You don’t drink, you are an outsider.
Criminals are the usual, I guess. I’ve never been victim to a violent crime, no idea if it is common sense or just being lucky. Someone else recently said they get into serious fights regularly, I do wonder what they do wrong or I do right.
Anon ain’t Swiss, that’s for sure.
