As a kid that used be the question that made me panic. Some teacher or parent would ask “What’s up?” In a casual manner and I would just freeze. To this day I have no idea what the proper response is. I assume it isn’t to start talking about orbits.
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“Not much. You?” If you don’t have much going on.
“Not much, just finishing up this essay before I head to soccer.” If you are doing something that might interest the person asking, or to explain your presence somewhere you aren’t usually.
The person is just checking in with you. It’s basically “hello”
I look up, then answer the question. Usually by saying, “the ceiling”.
If it’s someone that gets “the ceiling” often, sometimes I’ll switch it up by describing the type of ceiling. Or a light fixture. The sky. Squint and say, “I think it’s a spider.”
When I was little I used to get confused and look up at the ceiling.
The normal response is, “Not much”
I’ve had success with asking another leading question. “Have you ever though about [insert special interest]? The other day I started thinking about it and it is kinda cool”
Just reply back “hey”. No one is looking for a real reply.
The parent of one of my friends growing up wanted a actual reply. He asked me “What’s up?” every time we met. I would try to answer and he would try to get me to explain what I was up to. He had good intentions but it was a bit traumatic
This one is a bit nuanced. “What’s up” can be used both as a greeting and a question depending on where in the conversation it appears. If it’s a greeting a reply is not expected but rather a greeting. Here’s an example.
- A: What’s up?
- B: How’s it going?
- A: All good (note this is void of information, things are not necessarily good.
Another
- A: Hi
- B: Hey
- A: Soooo, what’s up? - Here a proper reply to the question is expected, optional to reply with “Not much, and you?” to skip the question. Normally people that ask in this way want to be asked this question in return.
Annoyingly, it depends on the context which makes it weirdly complex for a simple interaction.
It is a prompt meaning “if you have something you want to bring up, or that is important for me to know interacting with you, now is a good time. I have made a space in the conversation for exactly that and I am listening”.
So basically “nothing special” or “not much” is the correct response unless you actually are waiting to bring something up.
Continue with “…and you?” or “how about you?” is polite and invites them to also share anything relevant without worrying about “intruding” on your thoughts.
Caveat: Of course some people will say it as an empty greeting and not listen to a response. They are doing it wrong. If you respond with something and they are confused by that, it’s them being socially inept and not you.
“Same old, how are you?”
“A vector directly opposing gravity but greater in magnitude,” if you want to passive aggressively tell someone to fuck off.
Or, to quote Dr Manhattan, “Up is a relative concept with no intrinsic value.”
“what’s up!”
It’s like a ping pong.
I usually say “not much”
“My anxiety level.”
Or
“nothing, and you?”“Hey” is shockingly acceptable.
“Not much, you?” is considered polite.
“My cholesterol” or “my blood pressure” followed by “my doctor says it’s really a problem!” is my favorite response. People either chuckle at the joke and move on or get uncomfortable and leave me alone.
I usually hit em with the old
WE MEET AGAIN
“No, Signal”
That’s pretty good actually. I might use that at a cyber event.
My flatmate says this whenever he comes in. I think he’s just saying hello, but I always end up explaining in detail whatever nerdy shit I’m doing at that moment.
