I got caught playing hooky from school to be on the radio for an unapproved fundraiser, my house league hockey won the district championship and needed to raise money for the State tournament. The day I played hooky was a a day where the school would be outside for an activity, listening to the radio… station I was on.

Needless to say I was called to office to explain myself and scolded. Told them I didn’t care and a better use of my time. I received a 0 for any activities and homework that day, there was none, and an after school detention which the admin let me leave early so I could make hockey practice.

Years back when Clash of Clans was running ads using player submitted footage they used my submission for an ad (the one where several giants get taken out by spring traps)

I was the manager of, and sole employee of, a custom frame shop and just before closing one night I finished up a large signed jersey with Rose Bowl memorabilia, tickets, pin, lanyard, programs, pictures, the works, from this couple’s trip there that meant a great deal to them. The silicone still had to dry, so I left it on the back counter ready to wrap in the morning. The shop got robbed that night, for the flat-screen out front, but they saw that jersey and took it too. Guy was devastated bc it was irreplaceable stuff. I was like “We’ll see about that!” I called the Rose Bowl committee and told them what happened, they replaced everything, including the last lanyard they found on the floor behind the shelves they had been on. I emailed the sports team and told them what happened, and the player signed a new jersey with the customer’s name on it. Guy was crying actual tears when he picked up the new shadowbox. So being a momentary hero is my “claim to fame” 😂

A petition I started motivated a group of rich people to buy a really important music venue and save it from being demolished.

I’ve vomited on 5 continents.

I was one of the very, very, VERY earliest people to ever buy Minecraft. This was late 2009 during the early alpha development.

I bought it because it looked fun and relaxing. I introduced a fair few people to the game, but frankly… I expected it to remain a niche thing due to how it looked and the fact that it didn’t really have set gameplay goals. You basically had to make your own fun.

It was wild to see it become a cultural icon. It was even wilder to go to the cinema and watch a billion dollar movie starring Jack Black based on a dumb game about blocks that I bought from some random Swedish dude’s site 16 years before.

It was The Who’s 1st last world tour in Toronto at the CNE back I think in the 80’s.

I get a call from a crazy friend (female) saying she got back stage passes to meet The Who and can I drive her to the CNE. I took her down and she told guys guarding the gate that I was her security. I was 6ft, 300lbs, big red beard almost to my waist and a huge Afro so I sorta fit the bill.

Once back stage I, star struck, met Pete Townshend and asked him did he hurt his visibly hand wrapped loose bandaged hand doing his signature hand swirl or smash a guitar. His reply, no I had a fight with my wife and punched the wall. I realized he was also just a guy as well as a star. I never looked at a famous person the same way again. More just like another person doing extraordinary stuff.

I saw Entwistle but did not speak with him. I did not see the other band members at that point. I also did some “illegal” substances with “certain” people. Had lots of fun. Got silly and stole the Argos golf cart helmet drove it around and got chased by security. I remember getting away but for some reason I cannot remember much after that point. I do remember it was a great night.

Short answer with no context: Bill Clinton touched me appropriately.

Back story for those interested:

In 2012 I worked for the Obama re-election campaign as a Field Organizer, and typically the job was just leading and organizing volunteers in activities like phone banking and voter registration and such. I was in a swing county in a swing state, so the campaign made a stop in our area. Obama and Biden were supposed to swing through along with Bill Clinton and others. Biden was even supposed to come to our office so we all had to get vetted by the Secret Service. But the candidates canceled thanks to Hurricane Sandy forcing them back to Washington. The rally continued on, though, with mostly just Bill Clinton and some local politicians.

On the day of, I gather up my group of volunteers and we head to the rally venue. I was originally assigned to pass out water bottles to people waiting in line, but then we learned we didn’t have enough barriers around the tents where the candidates and Bill were (supposed to be) hanging out and I volunteered to be a human barrier to fill the gap. The job turned out to be kinda fun, a skateboarder tried to get past me and into the tent area because he was trying to cut through to get to another building and when I stuck my arm out to stop him I accidentally clotheslined him. He looked at me super pissed, then noticed the Secret Service right behind me and left with a quickness.

Anyways, Bill gets on stage, says his thing, then comes to the fence like to shake hands. Well, I was also a part of the fence and the people swarming me started to overwhelm me. Until two Secret Service agents swoop in and push the throng back, that is. As Bill passed by he pats me on the back and heads to his tent.

And that was the time I was touched by Bill Clinton in an appropriate manner.

Sante and Kenny Kimes: A notorious mother-son team who committed a string of crimes across the United States, including robbery, fraud, arson, slavery, and murder. Their story was the basis of the TV movie A Little Thing Called Murder and featured in a Netflix documentary.

When they were arrested the son had my business card in his jacket. The police interviewed me but we could never figure out how he got it.

I am responsible for accidentally getting a landowner and big game hunter on the other side of the world investigated by the EPA for something he didn’t do, and a podcast episode was made about it. All I did was post a comment on Reddit.

My buddy’s friend knew the guy who painted the helicopter that was used in Rambo III. Oh yeah! I’ve been drinking free on that one for years (as long as I’m drinking tap water).

I’ve sucked the dick of one of the designers of the ATLA ttrpg

I did a photo shoot for Johnson and Johnson as an infant lol for one of their products.

And also was one of the IRL kids on Teletubbies.

The FAA had to alter IACRA because of me. Well, to be honest it was their own damn fault.

IACRA is the system where you apply online for pilot’s licenses and such; instead of filling out an 8710-11 form and mailing it to the local FSDO or whatever, you do that on the internet.

I was applying for my light sport instructor license. One of the prerequisites to become any kind of aviation instructor is to demonstrate knowledge of the Fundamentals of Instruction. They accept four things:

• Scoring a 70 or above on the FAA’s FoI knowledge test within the last 24 calendar months
• Proof of employment at an accredited college or university as a professor
• A state-issued teaching certificate for grade 7 or higher
• Any other FAA issued instructor certificate, logic being is, if you’re already an instructor, you’ve presented evidence of one of the previous three.

I took and aced the FoI test fairly early in my CFI training…so early that the test result was threatening to expire. So rather than take it again, I decided to take the test for Basic Ground Instructor, which essentially made the test score permanent.

The day finally came for my CFI-SP checkride, I start filling out the IACRA form…and the website will only accept a knowledge test score. I call the examiner, she pulls it up, goes “Huh. Well, looks like you get to fill out a paper 8710 and I get to call Washington.”

So if you’re the web developer the government hired to make and/or fix that form, I was that guy! And since it’s a US Government website, I bet you did it in the most bullshit unusable way possible.

I am allowed to hop on stage with Red Grammar (Andy Grammar’s Father) and make any song he sings a duet. I got this privilege completely by accident, when I was 7 or 8.