I’m a dude. I was in the Bahamas on a trip and there was a girl in our group who was a drop-dead gorgeous black woman. The Bahamian men were going ape over her. She and I were walking along the beach, and men kept coming up, asking if I was her boyfriend, and when I said no they’d start proposing marriage and shit.
She informed me my job the rest of the day was to say “Yes” if a random dude asked if we were dating/married/etc.
It’s brave to step in like that.
We gotta look out for each other in the age of misogyny
This is the dawning of the age of misogyny
Age of misogyny
Misogyny MisogynySo like… all the ages?
Yeah 😭
Is that really the best line? She has to leave to take advantage of it.
Maybe, “hey, how’d your husband’s parole hearing go?”?
That sounds much less organic and believable.
On one hand, there is a girl she would’ve wanted to accept the date and this would be blocking her.
On the other hand, it’s genuinely much more funny lmao.
No, because if Girl A was interested she would have the option to turn down Girl B very easily.
Girl B is giving Girl A the option for a clean out, which is all that is needed to help someone out of an awkward situation.
It makes it clear what the random girl is trying to do, and allows the girlfriend to reply with anything from “not yet, let’s take a break over there” to “yeah I’m ready let’s go”.
How many times have you thought of the perfect response to someone hours after the fact?
It’s good that she stepped in to offer help at all.
It’s so common the French have a two (or four I don’t speak French or apostrophe) words for it. L’esprit d’escalier. Wit of the step stack hallway.
Hey we also say this xD
Treppenwitz meaning staircase joke
I guess we should just applaud?
It’s good she said something, I agree. She could also have said something better, and mine came after about 7 seconds, not hours.
I guess you’re just much better at responses than this made up woman in this meme format. Congrats?
My wit is but a pale shadow of this made up woman’s courage.
I appreciated your comments and humor. Don’t you dare give a damn to those comments and downvotes you’re getting, have a nice day ;)
You just had to make it known to us all how much better you are than her.
Applause all around.
I also salute your courage in defending her. Truely selfless act of sacrrfice. You are my personal hero.
Calling men out for their weird ego trips on imaginary women is just a fun little hobby of mine, what can I say?
I’m pretty sure this happened days or years ago so you’re way later than you think
Wow don’t be a dick, if you want a stranger’s help to meet a standard get a contract signed and pay them
Could have left a better reply.
It’s better than no line I guess.
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You all are celebrating something bad. It’s bad to assume a guy hitting on someone cannot take “no” for an answer. It’s bad to assume people cannot enjoy being hit on. It’s bad to assume a guy willing to shoot their shot is a creep.
Ya’ll are part of the loneliness problem. Do better and stop assuming the worst of others. You’re not smart. You’re not helping. You’re paranoid weirdos.
Now, if the message said that this was after he was following her around the gym, then THAT is commendable. Though assuming all that off of, “hey you look good, want to go out?” is just … sad. Sad untrusting society that’s spiraling.
Found the girl who got turned down
Unfortunately, society is at a place where enough men have posed a risk to women that we are all a perceived potential threat.
And women are stepping up to protect each other. Instead of asking women to not step up, you should be asking men to step up and stop normalizing things like locker room talk and porn consumption, things that are proven to increase misogyny and dangerous attitudes of entitlement around sex.
Porn consumption isn’t proven to cause violent and aggressive behaviors In fact, the inverse is likely true, those who are violent tend not to have as many intimate partners and so will have higher rates of porn consumption. There are a number of studies that have found sexual violence and rape to be negatively correlated with porn use suggesting that having an outlet rather than bottling up their sexual urges is better. That being said, the content of the porn does have an impact, so it would be better to advocate for respectful and consent positive porn than to try and ban it.
I agree many healthy social skills need to be normalized among men.
Though normalizing assuming the worst of strangers is not helping.
Hitting on people at the gym is tacky. At best.
I agree. That doesn’t make everyone who does it a rapist. Just someone that might need to learn better social norms and skills.
And yet when one complains “there’s nowhere other than spyware apps and bars to meet people these days,” the immediate responses are “go meet them at the gym” or “get a hobby” as if that’s still acceptable. It’s like the gen X version of boomers’ “meet them at the grocery store.”
People who tell you to get a hobby are only telling you step 2. Step 1 is give up.
The reason you hear “get a hobby” so often is because it works. But you’re not told how it works and why giving up first is so important. Getting a hobby works because you develop a passion and skills, which are attractive. But it also broadens your social circle. You meet more people directly, yes, but you also make new friends. Friends who might just know someone who is single and looking and perfect for you. You think you’re the only one who thinks apps and bars suck?
And the reason Step 1 is give up is because ulterior motives aren’t really a good reason to pursue a hobby, and because that shit shows. You wind up being that guy at the D&D table. Desperate at best and predatory at worst, neither of which are attractive.
If someone shows an interest or sets you up with a friend, great! But that’s no longer your goal. You’ve given up, remember? Better yourself and make more friends. You’ll be more attractive and have more opportunities.
If it doesn’t work, ok. Then some unc on the internet was wrong. Wouldn’t be the first time. But it’s clear that you’re not satisfied with the results of your current approach.
I agree with there not being anywhere else. But their suggestions isn’t “go and start hitting on random people there”, it’s “go spend time there, make friends or at least make your face familiar, then you’ll start hanging out with people or possibly date”.
If people just started hitting on anyone everywhere then most people won’t want to go to those places.
But even then (and that is how I make all of my non-work friends), I’m told it is uncouth to ask women out at these locations at all, as they just want to enjoy their hobby like everyone else, and there is legitimacy to that I completely understand that feeling and the last thing I’d want to do is make anyone uncomfortable. “But if she’s giving you signals-” or is she just being nice? Probably just being nice, safer to assume that than act on it and now everyone at the card table thinks I’m creepy and I have to find new friends.
In that case it might be more constructive to say “There is no place that’s good for just meeting people. You need to appear to want something else.”
Another woman gave her an easy out if she wanted to take it - that’s all. The woman didn’t accuse the man directly of anything and she apparently left them alone once the offer was refused.
It’s bad that it is so commonplace for this to happen that women feel the need to look out for one another in this way. I wish it wasn’t the way the world is, but it is and it’s not bad to try to protect each other.
If they were trying to avoid a situation going south, sure that’d be helping.
Jumping to conclusions is NOT helping anyone.
Nobody was harmed in the meme. The men are OK. You can rest your weary head and stop worrying about misandry in the case of women looking out for other women.
Several layers of OK, since it’s a made up story about a boyfriend pretending.
I make the assumption that it looked creepy, specifically because that girl stepped in. She had much more information about the situation, so almost certainly made a better call than anyone here could.
Well, and if the boyfriend is making a joke, he’s going to overdo it for comedic effect, too.
No it’s not bad to assume that, because some men are extremely dangerous. There’s a medical term for what’s going on, prophylactic.
Go ahead and keep contributing to the world’s problems by being a generalizing fool.
This is the same logic as the fucking morons that go, “It doesn’t matter who I vote for, they’re all corrupt” … and then vote for Trump.
Implying men are entitled to have conversations with women if they aren’t predators makes you seem like a predator.
Risk/cost. Rape is bigger owie than ego bruise.
Not the ego bruise. The normalization of terrible assumptions is the bad part.
Have you tried not coming off all rapey?
Have you tried not jumping to conclusions based on the worst possible thing you could ever assume?
You all are genuinely horrible. This is the same logic people use when they say, “It doesn’t matter who I vote for, they’re all corrupt”, and then go on to vote for Trump.
Good job being part of the problem.
So no
don’t pickup women working out, nobody wants to be bothered while being all sweaty, unless the guy is really attractive, have you tried being really attractive?
Try accepting the fact that you will be single all your life, simple.
Well there is one acceptable place still, but unfortunately for some that means choosing between alcoholism and alone, and tbh ain’t nobody got money to be an alcoholic these days unless they’re real bad off slamming handles of Aristocrat behind a Denny’s. But then that’s not as effective as bars at the “meeting a partner” thing unless you’re looking for a yegg.
Simply use dating apps that want you to never finish using them.
Don’t forget paying them for the privilege of having my data harvested and sold to the lowest bidder! That’s the best part I think.
If he is this bitter, it is already too late to fix realistically. He probably can’t be dateable.
Privacy advocates who don’t drink a lot and miss the third places that are dying off at an alarming rate are undatable? You’re probably right tbh but that’s not necessarily a good thing lol.
Clearly not.
i wish it was purely a joke but life isn’t fair
for the rest of us that might feel like the guy i replied to, find a mixed gender hobby that lets you meet on a semi regular basis
stop trying so hard to get laid / get a relationship and just have fun
(Different guy, but)
for the rest of us that might feel like the guy i replied to, find a mixed gender hobby that lets you meet on a semi regular basis
Ok so you can’t ask a woman out (politely, respectfully, and if it seems like she may be interested) at the gym, but can at a “mixed gender hobby,” but then I’ve also heard reports of not wanting to be asked out while trying to enjoy their hobby elsewhere.
Not that it matters to me, my hobby is walking in the woods taking pictures of cool nature shit, so they’d rather I was a bear and last thing I want to do is freak someone out, I’m more scared of them than they are of me (maybe I am a bear oh fuck.)
stop trying so hard to get laid
I don’t try hard and I do get laid, I have a FWB that wouldn’t work out as a relationship but who says we can’t have fun?
get a relationship
Also not trying for that (at all really, it seems most people are scared of interacting without the assistance of paid spyware that I won’t install on my phone, and I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable so as a guy I just don’t really talk to women while out and about at all) but it would be nice to one day love and feel loved again, I don’t miss the girl that used to anymore, but sometimes I do miss the feeling itself.
and just have fun
I mean, I do, what else is there to do? But people are capable of having fun and also feeling sad sometimes. I know I’m not supposed to admit we have those and yes I’m “lame” or whatever but this is a pseudononymous internet forum so who cares.
i get that reading the room can be hard for some of us but I assure you it is easier to tell when in a hobby environment than at a gym
that said do what you want but I’m not surprised people get weird over pickups in a gym
Full disclosure I do not go to the gym at all lol, but I’d believe that. Doesn’t mean it’s welcome in hobby situations.
the difference is in hobby situations you can start a convo about said hobby though you might still get shot down quickly, hopefully no one would be swooping in to save someone from a hobby convo
no promises though lol
the most successful guy i knew in college was sleezy as shit and just asked every women he met and just didn’t care what they thought about it
It’s the kids who are wrong still huh? There’s no hope for you guys.
That is in no way what that expression means. lol
You got some good points, people too often assume the worst and jump to defensiveness.
Because when women get caught off guard, we’re stalked, raped, and/or murdered by men.
Women looking out for each other in subtle ways isn’t the big bad issue in this scenario.
Nowhere did I say looking out is bad. The jumping to intervention based off of assumption is the bad part.
Ya’ll are part of the loneliness problem. Do better and stop assuming the worst of others. You’re not smart. You’re not helping. You’re paranoid weirdos.
Pardon?
It feels so good to know you are just better in a way than certain people, just allows you to go “Uh-huh, sure” knowing that you have better things to do, probably a decent future, and that you have done enough for society already, the accusations and offenses no longer matter.
The actually hateful people can burn in their self-righteousness. That’s how you avoid being flammed.
