As in like, I get there’s really terrible B-movies and shit like Neil Breen’s work that ends up on BOTW, but what’s the worst movie that actually had a decent sized budget and was made by an actual movie studio and maybe even had some somewhat well known actors in it?
Battlefield Earth is bad beyond belief. It’s my favorite bad movie. There isn’t even a close second including shitty b-movies. It’s in a class by itself.
Battlefield Earth is a 2000 American science fiction film based on the 1982 novel by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. It’s set in the year 3000 and follows a human rebellion against the “Psychlos”, a tyrannical alien species that has ruled Earth for a thousand years. John Travolta, who produced the film, stars as main antagonist Terl alongside Barry Pepper and Forest Whitaker.
Budget: $44 million
Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way … I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.
- Roger Ebert
tfw you unironically like battlefield earth and didn’t learn it’s a “bad movie” until years later. Kevin Smith was right about critics.
All the fucking dutch angles made me nauseous
If you took a shot every time you saw one - you’d get alcohol poisoning. There must be at least two dozen Dutch angles if not three dozen.
We should watch it on the hextube sometime on a slop night.
Alex Garland’s Civil War
2 hours of nothing but empty air and gibberish
Only good part was Jesse Plemons as the racist militiaman, but that ends pretty quick and then it’s back to “Woah, wouldn’t this be kind of crazy? Journalism is important”
It’s a film about an inherently political topic that’s almost entirely free of politics.
It doesn’t even portray war reporters all that positively, or make the case that what they’re doing is important. The one guy is cheering and saying something like “I live for this!” as he’s watching bombing going on in the distance – depraved shit, especially if you don’t even have a stake in the fighting. And at the start of the film the main lady says “my parents are in [flyover state] pretending none of this is happening.” Then what the hell is so important about The News?
All this is stuff that I liked about it. It would have been even better if the main characters were not americans, but traveling there to witness the mess.
I appreciate depicting war inside the US the same way the US depicts war happening outside it: two or three sides fighting, people get caught up in the fighting, no clear ideological sides, just people shooting at each other from shacks and balconies, and committing war crimes out of sheer anger at the other side but we don’t find out what either side is.
The movie is not great but if it had shown the motivations or bases of the sides in the conflict, shown soldiers in clear uniforms, shown one side being depraved criminals and the other as principled soldiers, then it would have been even more shit. I appreciate the mess. If/when the americans start having a civil war it would probably be between two bullshit factions and the outside world would probably be justifiably
Also, A Taxi Driver(2017) already exists.
This review/analysis does a good job explaining what’s wrong with it.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I watched at 3x speed it on a wechat video channel that uploads whole movies
Two Suicide needle drops. Low effort trash.
Eragon. It was absolute dogshit. I saw it when it came out because my friends and I liked the books (we were young, don’t judge), and while we were expecting trash, it was even worse. Nothing about that movie was good. Total drivel.
In a similar vein, the only movie I’ve every walked out on and demanded a refund for was the first percy jackson movie.
I love Eragon for, if nothing else, the lotr style semi-realistic low fantasy and the literacy arc
Taken (2009)
Horrendous post-9/11 xenophobia and torture porn
you should [not] check out Taken 3 (2015).
Pearl Harbor by Michael Bay. It’s embarrassing to watch. And it predates 9/11 and the war on terror making the jingoism stand out even more.
I remember one movie reviewer saying “You’re practically rooting for them when the Japanese finally show up.”
Only movie I ever left angry was The Hobbit. Never saw the other two.
Most slop I’m fine with. I watched all of the Starship Troopers direct to dvd sequels, even the “one level above Reboot” animated ones. I’ve seen all of M Night Shyamalan’s films. But The Hobbit got me right in the amygdala in a bad way.
edit: Oh I thought of another one: Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Plantasm. The first Aqua Teen movie is a stoner comedy classic along with most of ATHF’s first run, but this film and the tv revival that followed it are dogshit.
Never saw the other two.
Oh the second one is so much worse.
Never saw the third.
Never saw the third.
the third one is by far the worst movie I’ve ever seen
I had suppressed the memory, thanks for surfacing it otherwise my answer would have been something like “Star Wars Episode IX” which isn’t nearly as bad
Norbit, I saw that shit in theatres lmao.
Wonder woman 1984 really is as bad as everyone says. It isnt even funny bad
MAX LORD you’re putting yourself and everyone else in GRAVE DANGER, I NEED you to give me the STONE
Holy, i think i watched at least part of that movie and i don’t remember anything
Youre better off for it
Dog (2022)
If you want to see an ex soldier mistreating a dog played as a wholesome feel good story, it’s your movie! There is a scene where this guy leaves his dog in the car to go drinking in a bar in Portland. Some people in the bar call him out for it and the movie treats it like they’re loony liberals and you’re supposed to feel sorry for him for getting called out? Weird.
Not Without Hope (2025)
Movie about a bunch of unlikeable footballers stuck in the ocean because of their own lack of safety consciousness. Movie becomes a weird christian thing.
American Sniper, NO CLUE why I watched it but I did (half drunk). Shoot & Cry cinema at it’s peak along with a fake baby, bravo Mr. Eastwood.
Man of Steel and Star Trek: Into Darkness were deeply unpleasant to watch in theaters.
Possession with Sarah Michelle Gellar. It could’ve been a 30 minute episode of a mediocre TV show.
The 1967 version of Casino Royal had the potential to be a funny James Bond spoof, but it was edited with a chainsaw. Honorable mention goes to pretty much every James Bond movie, especially Die Another Day.
Battlefield Earth legit fuckin sucks
We groaned and called Hubbard a hack when he named his protagonist “Goodboy.” Then we watched in horror as ICE publicly executed Pretty and Good. We are living in a sub-Hubbard hack reality.
Oh, The Matrix Resurrections. I’m convinced it was deliberately engineered to try and destroy interest in continuing the franchise for as long as possible.
Zookeeper 2011. If you are religious, this movie will make you lose all faith and realize that there is nothing after death. Just darkness
