For a solid few years, the signature on my driver’s license did not match the signature that I use to sign things nor did it match my normal handwriting.
This is because the small town, fascist, dick cheese of a police officer who was handling my renewal decided he didn’t like my signature. So, he told me I had to sign the thing with a legible (to him) signature. After redoing the signature multiple times and having him reject it each time, I finally signed it like I was trying out for the Olympic handwriting team. He accepted that one.
Like what even is the point of this exercise besides just being a giant festering asshole? Fortunately the signature mismatch was never an issue because it’s such and unimportant and useless detail that almost nobody cares when they check your license.
Yeah that’s insane, you are legally allowed to make any mark and it’s a signature. But cops are above the law, so
Plus, the whole point of a signature is that it’s easily reproducible by you, but not by other people.
Fast and fluid in a way that feels good to your hand is therefore the best signature, whereas something written slowly and precisely is easier to copy.
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My agent accidentally misspelled my last name on paperwork at some point and when she realized the mistake it sent her into a blind panic We got it sorted but years later I still get junk mail with that name on it.
More like: Brad discovers the American equivalent of a Hanko, along with all the pain that creates.
Go and update your DL with your legal signature. Call the mortgage company and thank them for the free house that some joker signed with cat heads.
Most mortgages specifically have a rider that says they can make you do more paperwork as needed
Not if you cross your fingers and say “no take-backsies”
Lawyers hate this one trick
You forgot the rest of the headline; “Lawyers hate this one trick, and 10 other tips to getting a free house.”
Is this how people turn into sovcits /s
sovcats
that’s what the notary was for
I have e-signed most of the paperwork I’ve signed in my life, but I did sign in ink for my first house. For that one, everyone encouraged me to be as casual as possible about my signature because they knew it would inevitably just get sloppier as we progressed through the paperwork.
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I have this issue. They let 15 year olds sign their own name. My current signature does not match my old one, so I have to re-memorise my old one or change it to be new. Fuck me, why let 15 year olds do this shit?
My 5 year old wrote a backwards F as his signature for his passport. I really hope they will let him pick whatever he wants when he gets a new one in 5 years
they will
My signature is a very consistent random squiggle so it matches on everything I’ve ever signed … except my fucking Social Security card which I signed as a little kid and which is actually a readable cursive version of my full name. I’m going to end up deported to fucking Uganda because of this bullshit.
I also came up with my signature when I was a teenager. I didn’t understand signatures back then… I recently changed it, but not on my official docs, such as my passport.
“How do I type this alphanumerically?”
“Meow meow meow.”
I used to do data integration work for Chipotle. One day, our Workday (HR system) integration broke out of the blue and we spent hours troubleshooting.
Eventually we discovered someone named Katherine applied for a position and signed her name with a 🐱 emoji, which broke EVERYTHING.
Not quite the same thing, but years ago I was a developer working on an app for Clerks of Court in the one state that doesn’t share the same legal basis as the other 49 states (should make it easy to guess which state). One day I got assigned a bug ticket that said the “State” dropdown in the app had 519 entries. This was of course a few too many, so I took a look at the STATES table in the database, which as expected contained the two-letter abbreviations for all 50 states but then a whole bunch of other shit after than, including all the states fully spelled out and often misspelled many times as well (there were more than 20 different spellings of Louisiana, for example), and then a bunch of country names.
It turned out that one of my coworkers had been assigned the task of including the state’s standard marriage license form in the application. This form had sections labeled “State” for the bride and groom, but since the victims (or whatever people getting married are called legally) were often from out of state or even from other countries, clerks would just write in whatever in this part of the form. My coworker was a fanatic about normalized databases, so rather than just allowing these fields to be plain text, he foreign-keyed them into the pre-existing STATES table and added code that added new entries to this table whenever users typed something new into the fields. It never once occurred to him that this table might have been utilized in other parts of the app.
How this table grew to 519 rows before anyone logged a complaint about it is beyond me.
U+1F431 U+1F431 U+1F431
Every millennial ever making their first email:
(mine is a fandom RP name from when I was 13)
When my company is hiring, I usually have to check the CVs from the ones working in my field. I’m absolutely shocked about how many people are using email adresses like “cutebunny93@xyz.com”. The most shocking one was some racial slur where some letters where exchanged through numbers. Needless to say we didn’t go further with that candidate.
CuteBunny93 has been using email for 20 years, isn’t that a point in their favor?
… what’s wrong with CuteBunny93
It’s the date in the username. So dorky.
max cringe incoming:
Mine was the name I gave to my favorite deck of Magic: The Gathering cards. Ironically, that deck would probably be worth more than my house if I still had it.
sorry wrong comment / reply originally but yeah that probably hurts to look back on.
I still use mine. Nearly 30 years as prettybunnys
Same but not nearly as impressive with only like 20 years
Mine was a variation of my xbox gamertag.
My first email was netwesker15
mine is a fandom name too, misspelled, of course
How do modern kids even develop a signature? They used to teach cursive and it’s based on that, but cursive isn’t used anymore
Signatures aren’t as important as people think they are. You can sign with literally anything and no one will care. The only time it may come up is if there’s some kind of dispute and then someone asks you “is this your signature” and you say yes. Crisis over.
there’s some kind of dispute and then someone asks you “is this your signature” and you say yes. Crisis over.
“(…)by signing this document, you are also acknowledging that Apple may sew your mouth to the butthole of another iTunes user. Apple and its subsidiaries may also, if necessary, sew yet another person’s mouth onto your butthole, making you a being that shares one gastral tract.”
Luckily I refuse to use apple products so that’s not an issue
They are if you vote by mail. All ballots have the signature matched to the one on your driver’s license.
I mean it just needs to be unique. Otherwise what’s stopping someone else from pretending to be you (if they got control of some other credentials) or weaseling out of something you did in fact sign for.
To quote Mr burns “you can’t all sign with an x”.
Same thing that’s stopping them now. Nothing. That isn’t a very good deterrent for those things
Your signature will never be unique, each time you sign there will be small variations. It’s really not that hard to produce a convincing signature if you have good penmanship, and even easier if it’s a digital scan.
I’ve owned fountain pens since I was little, and I usually use some deep blue ink that fits the “only black or blue ink” criteria but is particular enough that I am able to tell with confidence if it is or not the ink I was using, and forensic analysis could verifiably tell. The one I’ve used the most oxides into copper colors, I love it so much.
For digital documents, I use PGP. I don’t care if it’s dorky, if I think I could have the need to demonstrate that I said or was told something at a specific date, I will generate and store a signed version, or attach it to an email as appropriate. I care more about the cryptographic guarantees of digital signatures than the legal guarantees of paper signatures anyway
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More like “is this your signature?”
“Uh, looks like the same ink pen I use, so … Maybe?”
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Mine starts off cursive then devolves into a squiggly line by the end.
I used to sign my name in cursive, but its legibility as actual letters disappeared over the same time span as my forgetting how to write cursive altogether. Now it vaguely resembles a capital K followed by a bunch of random shit. It does at least look pretty much the same every time.
Write name, but sloppily. My brain will always be lazy in the same way, so the signature just ends up looking approximately the same every time. So basically, lots of squigglies too, but I’ll get the ascenders and descenders.
Your signature is your mark. Uniquely identifying. It doesn’t need to be your name.
I originally signed with name and last name plus a squiggle. I got tired of that and many years ago I changed it to my 4 letter first name barely legible. Way better more consistent than the variance writing my full name.
Butnintinknwe aware saying the same. Cursive is illegible, so. A bunch of squiggles is good enough. Some people call it cursive.
Note: other than nostalgia, I don’t understand why cursive. Barely legible even by the original writer.
I feel like in 2025 in SoCal that this post couldn’t be real. Got my home for $600k and a decade later it’s worth $1.6m. Could I be rich simply by moving to Washington?
Yeah, moving to lower cost of living will make you relatively rich. It’s a reason people sometimes retire to rural (lower tax-red) areas. However, If you’re still working the usual problem is that the jobs also pay less and “amenities” are also less. Fewer good restaurants, less option for entertainment, worse schools, etc.
Old people without kids in school move to cheap areas and then fight to keep the taxes low so they don’t have to pay for services they don’t want. Nothing worse than being gentrified by the old
Yeah, basically what happened to Florida and a part of why it went from swing state to Red.
There’s also the problem of then having to live in a dysfunctional conservative shit hole.
And the restaurant thing is 100% true. The food alone would be enough for me to be a proponent of multiculturalism lol. Even if there were no other benefits (there are tons). Give me all of the ethnicities’ foods plz.
I didn’t see OP mention what he paid.
Mine is my first name in neat Gregg Shorthand, then squiggle squiggle.
This is amazing!
And so real too.
Don’t you just e-sign everything now? I did for my last two times going back over 10 years IIRC.
Giving an offer and the pre-closing papers are all DocuSign.
Closing is all done IRL at the title company, with physical papers.
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depends on location and title company.
my last two homes were physical signatures over like 200 pages of documents.
